I'm losing control & need help & comfort

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 472
   Posted 11/10/2005 11:38 AM (GMT -6)   
sad  I have been gone for a while trying to get my life in order. After realizing that I was my own worst enemy. I had to fix this and as fast as I could. I was in a narcssistic and co-dependent person and I never thought it would happen to me. My husband says I have too much tie on my hands. I on't work as I have an illness which will be responsible for my demise but I not in the pitty mode. I have a sense of wanting to comfort anyone that has been hurt, homeless, eldery people, babies, small children, I want to stop the war,I feel bad for the killings in the world and it has taking me to an all time low. My husband tels me NOT to watch the news, don't read the paper. He hates this and what it is doing to me. I live in the hills and I am out of touch even thugh we love it here. I don't drive becayse of a sizure disorder. I fee like "I would give up smoking and give the money to a shelter or Red Cross BUT I'm fearful and don't want to gain weight. Been there, done that. I don't know how to let go. There must be a name for this. HELP!
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3447
   Posted 11/10/2005 12:40 PM (GMT -6)   
There is a name for it Lefty--caring. It is hard not to get wrapped up in all that is bad in the world today. Hang in there, thoughts and prayers are with you,
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret."
-- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet
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DeAnn S
Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 321
   Posted 11/10/2005 8:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Lefty,
I agree with Jon, it is called caring!  You sound like a warm, compassionate, loving, kind and caring person!  That is a wonderful trait to have!
There are so many things in this world that are bad, and, unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about it.  However, there is a lot of things you can do, even if you do not drive.  I am a ChemoAngel and I started doing this by going to www.chemoangel.com.  You get assigned a person who is going through chemo therapy and you send them a letter once a week just letting them know you are thinking about them.  I also send little gifts.  This has been really rewarding for me.  I also make fleece blankets and donate them to the nursing home.  I don't know where you live, but there may be a nusing home in a town close by, and you could call them and see if there is something you can do to help them.  In my community we have many elderly that live alone.  There are several of us who have taken it upon ourselves to call these people at least once a day to make sure they are okay.  They love getting the phone calls and having someone to talk to.
These are just a few things that I do.  I have many more suggestions and if you would like to hear them, please email me.  Or if you just want to have an email buddy, I'd be happy to be yours!
Hang in there, Lefty!  You are a wonderful person!
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Lot's of gentle hugs!
Your friend,
~De Ann~
Chronic Pain, Co-Moderator
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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/10/2005 10:39 PM (GMT -6)   

I understand what you are going through.  I have feelings such as yours.  Sometimes I don't think my husband understand.  I have been trying to keep myself busy and not think so much about things like that.  Its hard also with the smoking.  I smoke as well and I don't want to gain wait yet I know its bad for me and the money could go to something better but I can't stop. I wish you luck and just take one day at a time.  Life is so short and I have to tell myself this every day.  If you take baby steps each day it seems to get easier.



Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 11/11/2005 12:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Lefty!!!

I'm happy to see you posting again, but sorry your having such a hard time. Caring IS a good thing, but it can really rob you of a lot of energy if you can't put it in perspective. If you can help someone than do it . . . but if you can't help, then please don't burden yourself with grief over it. With chronic illness like Lupus we can't afford to waste any energy. DeAnne had a very good idea. Writing on this forum is actually thereaputic for me because until recently I had debilitating fatigue and being able to post here has really helped. I'm getting help and giving help at the same time.

I hope you are feeling better these days.

Keep us posted!!

In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie          "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
Psalms 139
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