You sound very much like a dear friend of mine. I am tempted to believe that the pot is the problem. In my friend's case it was definately the problem and the paranoya went with it.
You have really taken a huge step by writing out your feelings. Have you thought of talking to a counseler about
this?? Maybe a professional would have some good answers for you. Meanwhile, I hope that some of the other members here can give some advice.
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn to surf!"
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, Plantar Fasciitis, Inflamatory Arthritis, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Folic Acid, Synthroid, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptelyne, Salagen, Lotrel (Centrum Silver, B12, B6, Calcium+D,)