Think I'm Depressed

Hey,
In July my fiancee and I moved to Southern NJ from Northern NJ. I got a job in my field or Cardiology yet in September I lost this job. I have been sending my resume out to every Cardiologist in the area for months now. about 3 weeks ago I was offered a position at a really great Cardiologist's office and accepted the position. The woman who I interviewed with and who offered me the position told me she just had to get the office manager to write me up an offer letter-I was so excited I finally got a job again, my fiancee told his mother, his aunt, father, etc! But now it's been 3 weeks since she told me I had the job yet I never received an offer letter nor did I receive and kind of correspondence-nice huh?! So, I guess that job is out the door and I am in the same position once again. I have been out of work for 2 months now and I am practically all out of money. I have had to take money out of our wedding account to pay some of my bills and I haven't told my fiancee since I feel so badly about myself already. I will just put the money back in when I get my tax return and when I hopefully get a job. Anyway, I am beginning to get so depressed. Although I put resumes out everyday I am not getting any interviews. I have even applied to retail stores just so I have some kind of income. I sleep all day long, am awake all night, feel so worthless, so nervous, so sad, so embarssed, so scared that I'm not going to be able to pay my bills. My relationship with my fiancee is great, luckily. But for some reason I am ashamed to talk to him about money and embarassed that I can't get a job. I feel SO guilty that I don't have a job but no matter what I do I can't seem to get anywhere in the job search. Everyday I get more & more upset and I just don't know what I can do anymore. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks!

First, realize one thing.

I say this with conviction and firmness.


NOTHING, NOBODY has the right to make you feel the way you do. Get that into your head. You dictate your environment, not the other way around. I know this sounds out there, but assess what your doing to yourself. Sit down and think. FOCUS.

What do you want? You want a job. Well stop empowering the opposite. Sit and imagine your new job and know that it's coming.

Stress is not going to go away. Why? Caus you create it. What I mean is that the environment, people, powers at me are never going to go away. They are always going to be poking and probing at you and taking your money. You must change, as the world is not going to change for you.

Now your job is coming. Get that into your head. However ask yourself this. What's the worst possible thing that could happen in your life? I'll be that the answer is not losing your home or your job. You are in the best country in the world. Your not going to go without. No matter what. YOu have family I assume and friends and a loving husband.

Now go talk to him, like you know you should.

Kevin

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Have you discovered, then, the beginning, that you look for the end?
For where the beginning is, there will the end be. Blessed is he who
will take his place in the beginning; he will know the end and not
experience death.

I agree with knuckle go and talk to your fiancee ,you guys are there to support each other,he will understand and help
goodluck
J

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God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.