someone please advice help or just support at the end or my rope here

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/15/2005 2:49 AM (GMT -6)   

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need someone to just listen please

This is going to be a long post so please bare with me here, I just have to leave my family and move out of state to live by my husbands family so he could make more money. I have chronic pain everyday and became unable to work after 15 yrs of working over 50 hrs a week now i am lucky to just do my housework. So in order to keep from filing bankruptcy he dicided we would move here and his family would help us out until we got on our feet. only problem being is that my kids and i did not want to do it but felt like we had no choice, I felt guilty because of my illness and not being able to help being a burden i had to do it. The worst part about it is that i was already so depressed and have been for yrs but really bad when i had to stop working. So bad that i was afaird to be left alone for what i might do to myself. Now it is so much worse i am losing my family i have no control over my life and nothing to look forward to. At first i thought i can do this and then his family decided to start fighting with me and i am a people pleaser i dont want anyone to be mad at me so when i did finally blow up on them which is not me at all it was bad they said some horrible things to me and my husband just stood there at the door and let them do it. he says because if he had said anything they wouldnt help us with money anymore, well i said some really horrible things to and now i am not allowed over at there house but my husband makes me let the kids go and they want to be there all the time i dont blame them i am not much fun to be around but me and my kids were so close before this now i am losing them to expensive gifts and nice places to go. I sit here all day in my prision and now i am getting parinoid that they are trying to turn kids agaist me. I cant control it while they are there i just know there are talking to them about how sorry they are that i am so crazy. I am not so sure this is not happening, but i think i am just overeacting. who knows. but i am about to lose my mind along with everything else. i just look at myself as a burden. My husband avoids being alone wiht me and kids dont want to stay with me and now that i have moved all the support and family i had at home is gone. his family said i was allowed to come back over now but i just cant do that. What should i do how can i get better Thanks for listening sorry so long

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 798
   Posted 11/15/2005 1:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh big hugs going your way. What a tough situation. I can identify with not getting along with the outlaws as it sounds like you have my MIL. Personally, I would first head to the dr. for some help. Perhaps some anti-depressants and/or therapy and some help with pain control. I feel for you as I'm in constant pain also and know the havoc this can cause. I take anti-depressants and have been in therapy and am looking into acupuncture and anything else to help me deal with the pain.

Seems like your hubby has a hard time dealing with his family also and doesn't want to make waves. I too have that husband and understand it but I also would like it if he stood up for me also. I believe it's wrong to stand there while his family treats you like this. No amount of money is worth that in my opinion. Could you sit down with your husband and kids and talk about everybodys feelings and where you're all at. Let us know how you're doing.
Take care, Softy

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 11/15/2005 1:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Some times you just have to tie a not on the end of the rope and hang on untilthe wind stops blowing. Hang in there, I am confident as you look forpersonal solutions, home situations will improve.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
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