i completly understand where youre coming from, but the fact is the worst thing you can do is keep everything in side. I am exactly how you are, you keep everything bottled up, until you have a mental breakdown and completly freak out. I had the same problem. From everything bottling up, i got so much anger inside, i had no idea how to get it out. You can't really trust anybody these days, and even if you could, you still dont feel comftable talking to them, right? That is how i am. It lead to nothing but more troubles down the road. I brought all my anger out on myself, lead to cutting, drinking, pills, everything. The worse thing to do is to keep everything inside, even if you think you have it under control. I thought i did, and i still think i do. Scars dont lie, and i have to live with everything for the rest of my life. If you need to talk, and you can't see a counselour, for any reason, this is a good place to start. No one judges, you just get to release your pain and anger. You may think you have it undercontrol now, but one day it might get to far. That is what happened to me, and i wouldnt want to see that happen to you.
speak your heart out girl. We are all here for you.
Lie to yourself enough;;
&& you'll start to believe things
are actually 'getting better'.