Posted 11/16/2005 6:25 PM (GMT -6)
about 6 months ago my spouse of 16 years left. We felt thatwe were down two totally different roads and made an amicable split. I was fine with everything and mind you I had my bad days, but still knew it was for the best. Then a few months afterwards I hooked up with a very old friend who knew me like a book. We ended up falling madly in love with each other and eventually moved in together (this happened just after I ws laid off from my job). After about a month and a half of being there I was starting fret over finances and "ran scared" and left with all my things. I did the cowardly thing and left her a note and told her why I left (or things I thought were the reasons why). I have came to the realization that with her help I left for the wrong reasons. She wants to work things out but has some apprehension about the situation because when I left I went to go talk to my ex wife (which I told her I had done, but not for the reasons I thought) SHe said she wants to MAYBE try a long distance thing and see if that spark we had when we first started dating would come back. I told her I was fine with that. Now I am not sure. I am so miserable now and do not want to even leave the house. I miss her so much and wished I had not done what I done. She did not deserve that. I just do not know what to do. I am so scared and ashamed of myself and am scared about what I might do to make the pain go away.