Not sure how to cope

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/16/2005 7:25 PM (GMT -6)   
about 6 months ago my spouse of 16 years  left. We felt thatwe were down two totally different roads and made an amicable split. I was fine with everything and mind you I had my bad days, but still knew it was for the best. Then a few months afterwards I hooked up with a very old friend who knew me like a book. We ended up falling madly in love with each other and eventually moved in together (this happened just after I ws laid off from my job). After about a month and a half of being there I was starting fret over finances and "ran scared" and left with all my things. I did the cowardly thing and left her a note and told her why I left (or things I thought were the reasons why). I have came to the realization that with her help I left for the wrong reasons. She wants to work things out but has some apprehension about the situation because when I left I went to go talk to my ex wife (which I told her I had done, but not for the reasons I thought) SHe said she wants to MAYBE try a long distance thing and see if that spark we had when we first started dating would come back. I told her I was fine with that. Now I am not sure. I am so miserable now and do not want to even leave the house. I miss her so much and wished I had not done what I done. She did not deserve that. I just do not know what  to do. I am so scared and ashamed of myself and am scared about what I might do to make the pain go away.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 11/16/2005 9:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Everything we do in life has consequences. You are getting off easy if your old friend is willing to give you another chance. You say you don't know what to do--I suspect she will let you know what she expects. Since you want to be with her, listen.

Also think about and act on ways that will make you more attractive to her. If you aren't working yet, get busy and get a job--any job for the time being. Read the entertainment section of the newspaper and find things to do that will please her. Was anything in her house broken? Fix it for her. A woman wants a man who thinks about her first--show that you do--and the pain will go away.

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