You are 16, and your family (like everyone else's) is screwed up. AND ther eis nothing wrong with you. I can promise you that. Please read the following message, I wrote this to my step daughter who lives in Oklahoma and we never get to see her because he mom hates me, I am white she is black ( my step daughter is mixed) but I think what I wrote all teens need to read it applies to everyone in some way:
I'm sorry that things are the way they are in your life, nobody is guaranteed to have a "great" or "perfect" life. What we are garanteed is life itself and the roads we choose to walk down will never be easy, we are also garanteed that for every choice we make, good or bad it will reflect on us for the rest of our life. No one is immune to these facts. There are also facts of our life we take for granted everyday, with the human mind we question these facts because of emotion, but we must find ways to remember that regardless of what is said to us, around us or by us these facts will always remain true. These facts are as follows:
1: You are born to two people that have a love for you that you will never understand until you have children of your own. From the day that anyone is told they will be a parent a special love grows in your heart, for your child and for God. This love never dies, it grows with you and with them for eternity. The blessing of any child that God chooses to give you is the greatest gift of life.
2: Nobody will ever be able to tell you or describe to you the love that your mother and father have. All parents love with every breath they take. There is nothing in the world that will break your bond with your parents.
3: In life we will seperate from our parents, we never know when that will happen. Many will seperate at a very young age and then there will be that special percent that seperate at death. We must remember that just because we seperate we don't stop loving, in fact it has been proven that when seperation happens the love and emotion a parent has for their child tends to grow and can even enpower them to have such a strong and undying love that it defines how they love everyone else around them.
4: The pain a parent endures from seperation of their child, be it from divorce, the child moving out to be on their own, or even death is so stong that the heart forever aches a pain that is unimaginable. I myself can not fathom the pain that I have for my loss, let alone what your father has lost.
5: The steps a parent will take for their child may never be seen, felt or heard. The tears a parent cries for their child may never be seen, felt or heard. And the love a parent feels for their child may never be seen, felt or heard. But they are all there and forever remain to be there.
6: As humans we may never like, or appreciate the life that God has choosen for us, but we learn to live it and learn to find ways to make us happy. They may not be ideal and they may make us ache, but we do it because we have no choice. Life moves us forward, and we must go with it, otherwise what would be left of us if we dont?
The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran writes:
Your children are not your children. They are the son's and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You maybe house thier bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday.
I hope that you take something out of this and it wil help you through your life. I hope that at the last hour that some of this will make sense. Life will move forward, and you will go forward too. As the years pass by life will never make sense to anyone, it will just be. I pray that someday life will give us what we desire, and if not that we can at least accept what was given to us.