My daughter isn't sorry about what happen, nor am I. It was a hard year. That's all. Life works like that. There are good years and bad years--and for the most part the bad ones only last a year or so and the good ones vastly out number them.
Your answer about the flirting says that you have principles and integrity. I like both qualities, and put a lot of stock in them and admire people who have those traits.
"Everyone" thought I was smart, I didn't. "Everyone" told me I shouldn't marry my husband. I didn't listen. "Everyone" thought I was hostile. I couldn't see that in myself. When "everyone" spoke, I quit thinking, except for thinking about blocking out what they said. More recently in my life, I figured out that I should pay close attention when that urge to block hits, because sadly "everyone" is too often onto something, which I overlooked.
That doesn't mean that I have to be a puppet on "everyone's" strings. It means that instead of blocking and not thinking, I must think, I must figure out what they see. I retired last Jan. "Everyone" was worried about my plans and predicted I would have a difficult time going from being around and interacting with 100 people daily--to mainly just my husband. In the old days, I would have pooh-poohed that. I would have quit thinking and gone blindly into my future.
Instead I really thought about it, and decided they were right. Then I had choices. I could get a different job, I could join something, I could spend more time with my friends. I decided that I would follow my original plan--to make my household run more smoothly, which meant being alone a lot of the time. I also decided to watch for signs of depression, so it couldn't overtake me, unwares. Thus far I haven't been depressed, but I am beginning to think about small changes that will give me more people-contact.
I'm 100% in favor of not keeping things inside. It's especially important at your age, but it sounds like the people around you aren't the kind you can confide in. The journal is a good solution to that, but did you reveal it for others? If so, it's just like you were talking to the wrong people.
I couldn't help giggling about, "Every1 is always telling me i DO need to change! i dont think i should have to." Did you ever have a teacher write, "try harder" and ask yourself, try what harder? That's what it's like when people say to change--change what?!?!
Now, ask yourself, is what you are doing working? It doesn't sound like it. So yes you probably do need to change. That doesn't mean turning yourself into someone else or changing everything about yourself. Instead, "THE SMALLEST CHANGE IS THE BEST CHANGE." One example is to look at the people who have been mean to you and ask yourself, what is the smallest change I can make that will change this.
I don't lie, so my suggestion is that a small change might be to find ways to not tell all, without lying. In other words, when someone asks, "did you...." you smile and answer, "why do you want to know?" or say "I can't believe you are asking that." Then change the subject--ask them about themselves or ???. Answers like those allow you to hold your own counsel (do your own thinking), and they set boundaries to keep others from invading AND USING your life.
My flirting examples were things I saw in my youth, which I should have said, but failed to. They demonstrate how to think about flirting situationally. Situationally is important. It's like not swearing in front of a priest or minister--certain situations call for modifications in behaviour. Only you know where flirting crosses an imaginary line and causes problems. Only you can investigate those situations and decide how to behave in them.
I'm the last person in the world that would tell you not to be yourself. I worked in a chapel once--and I'm somewhere between athestist and agnostic. Out of deference to my boss and my position, I did not swear or do many other things, I might normally do. I also supported his work, 100%, even though I did not agree with the religous aspects. At your age, I would have felt like I was being phony, but at my age, I stayed me, with altered behaviour, which was suitable to the situation.
That's an adult trait. You say you will be going to work to help your family. Learn that trait now and you will save yourself job problems. I saved myself from problems at the chapel by doing my best, but I'm thinking now of a boss who showed me how to cheat customers when I was young. I refused to do it--that crossed my integrity line. When you know yourself you can make such decisions, so that you can alter, without loosing who you are.
So that point is adapt (change behavior), but never loose the valuable parts of yourself. Your principles and integrity are important. They will define who you are, your entire life. Whether or not you flirt tomorrow will not, but it can make life difficult on the short term.