Mum

 

I wonder if anyone can help me/give me advice?

 

My mum suffers from depression - one of my earliest memories is of her taking her antidepressive tablets in the morning.  She's still on them.  She's been taking them for over 20 years now, I'd say maybe even 30.  It's sad and it makes me so worried as she can't come off them.  Her doctor lowered her dose and she ended up almost having a breakdown and going into hospital for a week - I stress, that was just by lowering the dose a bit!  She will not talk to anyone about anything.  She'll constantly complain about something (anything no matter how small), but if I try to talk to her then she closes up.  I don't know why she suffers from this (whether there was a traumatic event that happened) and I find it so difficult to get my head round why this is happening!  I can understand her being depressed, my sister also suffers from it and I did to a certain extent but it's the fact she won't talk, won't take advice, won't help herself that really gets to me.  She has to go to the doctors/hospital and she is encouraged to talk but from what my stepdad says she just gives one word answers and doesn't respond.  Please tell me that someone here knows why she does this and can just help me understand?  I'm not looking for a cure, I'm not looking for someone to do anything other than help me understand!  Sometimes, I just don't want to even call her as she makes everything seem so bad.  I know it's awful of me, but when she complains about something I can either listen (and feel down) or try to give some advice (for which she'll cut me down with a really hurtful comment).  I'm sorry if this is really rambling now, but as you can probably understand this has been on my mind a very very long time.

 

C x