Thanks Bev, I think you're right to be honest. When my mum went into hospital it brought to a head a lot of things that were swept under the carpet and then we had to all come to terms with the fact that this is an illness and a way of life for our mum. It's taken a long while for me to accept that there's absolutely NOTHING I can do to help. Nothing. I don't want to put a dampener on anyone else - but I have to accept she's never going to get better. I thought maybe understanding why she's like this would help me at least but I will seriously think over what you've said. Thanks for answering my thread.