Also posted on the Anxiety Board since this involves both depression and anxiety. There is a poll on the other post, if you are interested. Thanks for reading and replying, if you do so!
Hello all! I hope you are having a great day today and have recovered from TurkeyDay! (Finally today I don't feel like I was stuffed just like that bird!)
I was thinking about change last night and this morning. Change seems to send me into an emotional tizzy; one minute I'm fine and the next minute I am the Tazmanian devil spinning wildly out of control. I'm better than I used to be. I use to nearly destroy everything within reach by being irate, nasty, raging against the change and at people who were unfortunate enough to have to cross my path, resistant to the change... until finally I had to accept the change and when I did it wasn't as catastrophic as I had imagined it was going to be...
I still do this but to a lesser degree and much more internally. As you can imagine, my behavior as I described above was not welcome in the workplace, so I had to do something else with my anger and resistance, my fear of change.
Now, it comes much more quietly, as if sneaking up on me so I won't notice... Then suddenly I am in the full throes of it and I am falling apart. Uncontrollable crying for hours or days, panic spikes for hours and takes days to settle back down, the feeling of loss and doom is there scaring me and that spikes and relents also. It is so emotionally exhausting! And I can't seem to see it coming but having identified it as having something to do with change, I hope will finally help me to deal with it.
Do you ever experience this? From change or any other cause? What do you do? How do you slow it down when it happens so you can see what's going on?
If I can identify my source of discomfort (right now I think it's change) then I can also identify my source of comfort, I believe.
I am not on meds any more so a change in meds/dosage is not what I'm looking for. I want to learn and know what is happening because I think I can change the course of it with that knowledge amd support from wonderful folks like you!
Any feedback at all is so welcome! Thank you!!
Post Edited (Nanse) : 11/26/2005 8:29:39 AM (GMT-7)