Posted 10/18/2016 8:13 AM (GMT -7)
Sorry for the long post, just looking for some advice on whether I'm doing the right thing and also if anyone has some happy ending stories.
I met a man on Tinder 4 months ago, wasn't interested in pursuing anything with him as he's newly separated and not looking for anything serious, plus lives around 120 miles away. Long story short, he wore me down, we went out and started seeing each other every (and all) weekend. We also spoke on the phone several times a day for hours at night and texted constantly. He soon told me he loved me and I felt the same way.
He told me from the start he'd had issues with anxiety and depression caused by his ex-wife lying and cheating and his manipulative boss at work. Around 6 weeks after we started chatting, we went exclusive and a few weeks after he got depressed/anxious again and was signed off his job (leaving him on half pay as he'd ran out of sick pay). We'd just been away with my parents (I'd already met his brother and family and spoken to his sister who lives abroad) and the weekend after he had a bit of a break down and said he didn't want to hurt me but couldn't see his future any more and no longer wanted children (we'd both spoken about wanting kids in the near future) so thought it would be best to split up. I said I was happy to support him getting better and to see how he got on with his medication and therapy sessions, he agreed and we stayed in a relationship. At this point we were still chatting and texting lots.
Fast forward a few weeks and he phoned to say he couldn't do it anymore, he loved me and wanted me in his life but he didn't know what he wanted for the future so could we be friends, possibly with benefits. This was the week before I was due to go down and spend a few days looking after him as he was getting a day surgery. I said I was happy with that, went down, we had sex the days before his surgery; he was loving and huggy the whole time I was down although really sick from the anesthetic. I was then away with my friends the following weekend, the next weekend he said he wanted to catch up with his friends (saying it was because of me he now felt well enough to socialize) and that the following weekend was 'my' time to spend with him, which would have been last weekend.
Over the Wed/Thurs/ Fri before that weekend, his messages were more sporadic and I was anxious as to what was going on with him as he was less forthcoming than usual (I put this down to him being tired as he was sleeping less and had stopped smoking weed). I ended up driving down to see him, on the way he sent a text to say he needed a quiet weekend, so I messaged him back to say I was already near his, did he need anything before I went home. He kicked off saying I should have checked as we didn't have plans (we had made them the week before) and he couldn't cope with our co-dependency anymore and couldn't see or speak to me, could I not see he'd been distancing himself. I asked if I could come and pick up some stuff I'd left at his flat and was told he'd leave them in a box outside the front door and to let him know if anything was missing, which I picked up, texted him what was missing and to apologise and say I still loved him and wanted to be there for him. He said to text him an address to send the rest of my stuff to and that he would let me know but that for now he needed space and I needed to look after myself. He also said he was planning on moving to be with his sister.
I've now had no contact for 4 days, he's often online but I don't say Hi, just ignore that he's on and haven't sent him an address yet. My plan is to wait a week or so N/C and leave the ball in his court. I'm scared in case he's too anxious to contact me but don't want to contact him too quickly in case I push him away further. I'm also annoyed with him as the one thing I've asked him not to do since the start of our relationship is to ghost me (it's happened too many times previously). I know it's been a short time, but I really do love this man and miss the relationship we had at first. My plan is to get on with my life, but hopefully to keep in contact with him and see what happens. Do I have any hope of a future with him and when should I message him about my stuff should he not get back to me first?