Posted Today 8:18 PM (GMT -7)
You and I seem to have a similar situation.
You say: “My job, as far as what I do, is not a real problem. It's when I'm not working is when things turn bad. Which points to being more social after work. However, this points back my previous paragraph about the bad luck. No matter much effort I put forth, the results are always the same.”
OK, job is no problem. It’s the social life afterwards that you said is the problem.
But then in your second post you said, “. I think the two main (problem) areas for me is socially and professionally.”
Then you say, “It just seems that no matter how hard I work or, go beyond the norm to get things done, I always seem to get undercut by people. I basically get run out of the building either by own frustration or, someone makes up something to get out the door. This has been a pattern for about 25 years now.”
There are a lot of similarities between your life and mine.
One thing we have in common, also, is that we both have mental illnesses. You have depression, I have bipolar. So, when we congregate, at work or after work, this factor is in play. When we’re by ourselves, it comes into play.
So I think we have to take things into perspective. We are a mentally ill person who has a job, so they’re going to be problems.
Most or basically all of the other people at work do not have mental illnesses. We’re going to run into some rough times.
You said, ““It just seems that no matter how hard I work or, go beyond the norm to get things done, I always seem to get undercut by people. I basically get run out of the building either by own frustration or, someone makes up something to get out the door.”
OK, I told you before hearing your problem, I would match you point for point. Here goes.
My wife died 7 years ago. I am now a 1. senior citizen with 2. emotional problems 3. living by myself.
So I am now vulnerable. You said, “I basically get run out of the building either by own frustration or, someone makes up something to get out the door.” So I don’t have to tell you what I’ve been going through.
So our common connection, again, is we have mental illnesses, we live alone, and we are both senior citizens. And we both have the same complaints.
I told you I could match you point for point.
You have a company coming after you, I have an entire neighborhood coming after me. I’ve counted them, there are 3 pathological houses in my neighborhood that are coming after me for the last 8 years.
Safety in numbers, but we don’t have any numbers, we live by ourselves. Marriage is not always the easiest thing, either.
So, in a way, it’s life that is the difficulty, and having a mental illness makes it even more difficult.
You said, “My problem getting, and keeping positive thinking.” I was negative, too, and the I ran across a col. on being positive before going into a problem, and I realized I was neg. unconsciously, from childhood training or bipolar or both.
So, now I say, “One problem at a time, and be positive about that problem.”
You say, no male or female friends. I’ve found that guys don’t want to guys about a whole lot, and women are just looking for a marriage partner or they don’t have anything to do with you. So, that’s kinda common.
If you found a woman who wanted to talk, and you didn’t marry her, she would be writing in to a help line saying, “I’ve talked to him for a year and he still doesn’t want to get married.” There is no gray area with women. They do not simply want to talk.
Same with men. So what is the point with talking with men? What is the point of talking with women? There has to be a point. I was like you, I wanted to talk. I had a guy I talked to, he was a homosexual.
What was the point? If there is no long term relationship, neither one of them wants to talk.
Also, regular people are not therapists. And the only reason the therapists are listening to you is because they are getting paid for it. I know, it’s hard to take.
I had similar problems as what you are experiencing, so I have an idea to what you’re going through. I was neither macho or fem, I was stuck in the middle, which in a way is not so bad. I didn’t really want to be fem, macho would land me in the burbs with a wife and children, and a tough job to support all of that.
So, in the long run, being in the middle was OK. I just didn’t know it.
Do you have hobbies? Can you volunteer on your days off, walking a dog at a kennel, or volunteer in a hospital, or a senior citizens home. Those people will talk to you. They’re looking for someone to talk to like you are. And there is a point: both of you are lonely.
Do you have any hobbies?
I thought I could match you point for point. Learn to appreciate what you have. Learn to be positive. Learn to help somebody who is weaker, and it will take your mind off of your troubles.