Posted 12/11/2005 11:58 AM (GMT -7)
Rianna and bearstinylady, I loved both your answers, and shynsassy, I loved your question.
I saw the question asked in a group meeting for sexual abuse. One lady pointed at her husband, saying he's normal. She explained that he hadn't been abused and had never knowingly been around anyone who had been. She explained he was there trying to get a handle on what her abuse had done to her and which of her behaviors it caused, so he could be more sensitive and helpful. The whole room was in awe of the man. He never spoke, but he listened with his eyes and his ears. He had leaned forward into the conversations. He turned to his wife sometimes with a look that said now I understand. We were still in awe of him when the 12 week session ended.
Frankly, I don't think he was normal--I think he was an angel. I sure never expected to find an angel for me--but I did--after I resolved to get better and became a better person.
The really great part of the answers was "but I also heard it was boring." Ah, so, it is boring and boring is absolutely wonderful. No fights, few hurts, and lots of time and support, that goes both ways, for what either of us wants to do.