Did i make the right decision ? If so why am i depressed ?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 95
   Posted 12/11/2005 3:54 PM (GMT -6)   
eyes   eyes eyes   Recently i told my best friend who is also my cousin i couldnt talk to her anymore. She has taken zanax for over 10 years for anxiety and depression. At times her behavior is out of controll, she still has anxiety and severe depression. She only takes the zanax and dosent give other meds a chance. After a few hours she starts feeling anxiety and takes another zanax, i think shes having withdrawl not anxiety every 3 - 4 hours. All of her family and friends have distance themselves from her due to her behavior. She is happy and up one day then the next 3 she is down and depressed. She calls me and after 2 years i just cant take it any longer. I have talked to her about going to rehab and getting off the zanax and they can treat her with other meds that are better. She wont even try, she has abused the meds several times and admitts to this. I love her so much and i feel depressed now myself because i told her until she got help for this, not to call me, did i do the right thing? I have always tried to support her and do understand she has anxiety and depression, but why does she refuse to get help. She has done some things that you just wouldnt beleive, but i still supported her when no one else would. Now my heart is breaking because of this. My health is bad but im a happy person full of life and love. I just cant take any more of her anxiety and depressed calls of cring. She gives every excuse their is not to get off the zanax. If it is so helpfull to her why is it not working. Did i do the right thing? If so why do i feel so blue? I need your opions. She thinks i hve deserted and betrayed her. Did i ??????????????

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/11/2005 4:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Your friend is depressed. And she is not going to listen to anyone if they tell her she is taking to many meds.
It's easy to take more meds than what your are supposed to as you are trying to feel numb. And your pills become your best friends.They are there when you are at your worst and no one else cares (or so you think) And they become the answer to it all.
I haven't been on meds for a year(Although I should be) and I crave them so bad that it almost become unbearable.
My boyfriend helped me get off of them by calling it to my attention when he saw me taking them (although it's easy to just hide it) and asking me when I took the last one.
Here is what I think would help.
First,not talking to her is harsh..remember she's depressed for a reason if not many reasons and having someone around just to talk to helps.
Are they certain times when she's down more than others? Those are the times that she really needs someone.
Be there
You have the upmost advantage here,your not taking meds for depression so let your outlook on life ruboff on her.
Popping pills gets you high,it's a drug addiction,and family and friends turning their backs on someone who has a drug addiction is the worst thing anyone can do.
I am not trying to make you feel bad for telling her that,but you are obviously second guessing yourself,and you must care or you would not have made this post in the first place right?
Go where your heart tells you.........
Don't worry about the world ending,it's already tomorrow in Australia!

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 240
   Posted 12/11/2005 4:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Yes and no. You are firmly stuck on a double edge sword. Yes, because no one has the right to depend so much that "you can't take it anymore." Self-preservation has to be number 1 unless it hurts someone else.

The no comes in, because we all have obligations to help each other. But ask yourself if what you have been doing has helped. It doesn't sound like it, so we are back to yes you did the right thing or at least something different than wasting your time and hers.

Lots of double talk, huh. Double edged swords cause that. My sister and your cousin have a lot in common. I finally had to make a choice like yours. Years passed and the whole time, I worried that she would die (she couldn't get any worse).

Finally, one day she started doing better and she's still improving. I've kept the shield up to protect myself, but we talk more and I am happy for every little improvement.

The strangest thing is that she doesn't blame any of us for tiring of her escapades and only slightly for rejecting her when she was so needy. I'd be a lot harder on me, if in her shoes.

The answer to your other question about why she sticks to something that doesn't work is fear of change.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/11/2005 4:28 PM (GMT -6)   
oh,and another thing... She is probably having both,anxiety and withdrawls every few hours.
Her doctor may need to think about increasing her dosage or putting her on something else.
maybe trying to convince her to talk to her doctor?
Don't worry about the world ending,it's already tomorrow in Australia!

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