Peter A said...
So I called social services again for, I don't know. Maybe the one-millionth time now, and once again, nobody returned my call.
Why isn't that surprising? But anyway, I'm more or less done here. I'm just gonna be very bored and depressed until I get my own place, and then...I'll stay bored and depressed in any case. Because people these days, are just stupid.
Face it. You need to stop making excuses for how I observe these people, because I know I'm right. Support as I knew it: It's over. Well and truly. They're just jerking me off now.
Social services are massively stretched across the entire country. They don't have enough resources to deal with urgent cases, let alone a bored 30 year old man looking for somebody to keep him company.
You have a sense of absolute entitlement that I find a bit strange. I sympathise with your situation, but I am baffled by your expectations.
Basically, if you want your life to change you have to be the one to change it. If you are that bored look into doing volunteer work. It can just be one day a week to start with or even one day a month. But you probably won't. If it doesn't involve film work or being an extra, you don't appear to want to know. Again, it comes back down to those unrealistic expectations: I can't imagine a much worse job than being an extra with severe social anxiety: the crowds, the travelling up and down the country, the long hours, etc.
There's no job - volunteer or paid - which is perfect for anybody, let alone somebody as difficult as you or me. I do gardening one afternoon a week. Been doing it for a few months now. I have enjoyed it, on the whole, a lot more than I thought I would. I think it would benefit you too, if you weren't like 700 miles away. You live in an actual city: there's just got to be some groups you could join. Or consider part-time education and doing an evening course.
I've got an older brother who is almost deffo on the spectrum like me, only he's never sought or received a diagnosis. He's never been in a relationship and his work history is erratic, to put it mildly. He is prone to anxiety and depression, but he deals with it by keeping as busy as possible. In the last 20 years he's only had a few paid jobs here and there: he's mostly been doing volunteer work and studying. You can do these things yourself too: you don't need
a social worker. If you're not interested, then fair enough. But you constantly complain about
being bored, so it's not like you're somebody who's content to sit at their PC or play games all day. I'm much lazier than my brother, so I would never commit myself to as many activities as he does. But if I do ever start suffering from extreme boredom, I certainly would do more things than I am doing currently.
I'm not saying life is ever going to be easy for you. It isn't. You have a condition which makes life much harder for most people who have it. I don't particularly want to be autistic. My childhood, teens, 20s and 30s were largely a misery. (Actually my 30s were largely spent in being pwned by Crohn's disease.) But I can't not have autism, any more than I can't not have Crohn's now. Basically life sucks. Once you accept that, truly and utterly, it then becomes paradoxically easier to deal with in some ways. You should just try to do whatever you can with the cards you have been dealt.