Why?

I have not been able to work since Feb. (chronic pain). Besides pain meds and other meds, I am on Cymbalta. Today I had an aptment with a urologist, first visit. Woman where you sign in is someone I know. She asked me why I had "retired". Tears started rolling down my cheeks and my lips were quivering like a child's. She quickly said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that." I felt sorry for her. It wasn't her fault. When I got into the room to see the dr., just making conversation as I was standing there, he asked me where I worked. I mumbled, "I don't work." He said something else, I don't remember what andtold me to wait while he checked on something and left the room. When he left, I startec crying again, not big wracking sobs, just tears and this horrible feeling. He came back in as I was trying to mop up my face and asked me what was wrong. I dont' even remember now what I said, just something about not being able to work. He was very nice, told me my problem can be anything from just a bladder infection to cancer (because I smoke), etc. I left there and had to fill a prescription, went to the drug store. A woman I know works there (small town) and she is super nice, even had me a box of books in her car. But when we stepped outside to get the books, she asked me how I was doing, and there I go again, crying. I've never done that. I'm embarrased about not working, but I've never blubbered in public.

I've suffered through this same turmoil and still am for that matter. Why do we think we're nothing because we aren't working right now? We've worked for years and should not feel bad because we have a physical condition that keeps us from working a regular job. Don't be too hard on yourself. Dealing with your illness is depressing enough without beating up on yourself for something that you just can't control right now. Take care of yourself, ok?? (((((((((Paper))))))) - I hope that you feel better soon.

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Degenerative Disc Disease, Spinal Stenosis, Herniated Disc, Arthritis of the Spine, some kind of problem with the L5-S1 area, sciatica, diabetes, depression and anxiety.

I cried at every kindness for over 6 months. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't work then either--but not because of something real. I couldn't work, because I couldn't even apply for a job without bawling. I think crying was my reaction to getting used to changes in my life and it did pass after a short while--I just needed to figure out some ready answers for people who were interested or caring.

bev