There have been times when I have thought about suicide. I have a chronic disease and at times that would combine with my life going down hill. I thought about suicide, but I didn't do it. I'm glad I didn't. The disease is in remission and my life is much better.
The reason my life is better has a lot to do with the small changes I made in my life. Like Bev talks about, small changes can grow into large changes. They did for me.
I hope you consider making small changes that will give you a chance at a better life. A life worth... living.