is hope all gone

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jonevers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/5/2017 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
well my soon to be ex wife just called and said there is no chance for getting back together,i am totally heartbroken,and suicide thoughts have reamerged,is all hope lost or is there anykind of life for me at all,only I of my kids speak to me,i don't know where to turn I'm so alone and scared,i have no other family,please help

Post Edited (jonevers) : 5/5/2017 3:49:20 PM (GMT-6)


F27
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 875
   Posted 5/5/2017 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Of course there's hope, there's always hope, it just doesn't feel like it right now. There's only one thing that's certain about the future, and that's that the future is not set. I'm sure you're feeling pain like no other hurt you've ever felt, but this will pass. Right now it's all about living one moment at a time.

If you're feeling suicidal phone 911 - those folks know exactly how to get you in touch with someone who can help you right now.

Jonevers, you're gonna get through this. Stay strong.

jonevers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/5/2017 4:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't se any,i was married 30 years,im so lost and alone,just feels like I'm delaying the inevitable!!!!!!!

F27
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 875
   Posted 5/5/2017 5:55 PM (GMT -7)   
We've all been there, for one reason or another. The key to delaying the inevitable in to take it all in one day at a time. This forum is full of survivors, you'll make it through this, we all do.

Be kind to yourself Jonevers.

Dawn85
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 202
   Posted 5/5/2017 10:10 PM (GMT -7)   
There is always hope, please look in our resource page and call a hotline number! You are worth more than any marriage. I am sorry that you only talk to one of your children, but it would devastate all of them to lose their parent. Life is worth the fight that you are going through, I promise! Please think of your children!!! Loosing you will hurt worse then any divorce ever could. Please talk to someone about your thoughts and PLEASE do not ever give up! Life is all we make it and you have a chance to start over and be happy, please do not give that up.

Stay Strong and Keep Fighting
I am working on me day by day. Laughter and playing are our cures! Kids do this, why can't we?

Rx
Trileptal 300mg times 2 twice a day- bipolar
Celexa 40mg 1 time a day- Depression anxiety
Protonix 40 mg 1 time a day- GERD
Loratadine 10 1 time day- Allergies

The Dawn85

Stay strong, stay well and be happy even if it's fake at first.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41926
   Posted 5/6/2017 2:01 AM (GMT -7)   

jonevers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/6/2017 4:16 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you,its just so lonely ,and don't know how I can pay bills,she wants everything

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7179
   Posted 5/6/2017 6:15 AM (GMT -7)   
You are not alone, we are here to listen and support.

Take some deep cleansing breaths, in deep hold, let it out loud. 3 times.

IF you have to cry go with it.

Now you must advocate for yourself.

Find a lawyer that will fight fairly.

No matter what do not talk bad about her to anyone especially the child/adult that is speaking to you. This is between you and her. Not you, her and the world.
You can not control what she does, however, you CAN control your dignity, character and values through this mess.

Taken up the speed bag to get rid of the anger, it works, I have won in my garage, my husband uses it also. Great tool.

Keep yourself safe. Use the crisis lines if you want to harm your self.
Why give your mental health away to someone who do not care?

You deserve it, not her.

LASTLY---
If you had a friend come to you with this same problem, what would say to that friend?
What compassion and kindness would you offer?

YOU deserve the same amount, if not more, of compassion and kindness. Treat yourself as if your would a friend in the same situation.

Yes, I know it is easier said than done. Most things are. However, it is easier that staying stuck in the muck!

Peace and strength
Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

jonevers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/6/2017 8:11 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you,for the support,ill try my hardest to live 1 day at a time,i just wish I had answers to whats going to happen!!

jonevers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/6/2017 8:28 AM (GMT -7)   
ive been on short term disability,now I find out I no longer meet there definition of disabled,now what no money ,its just to hard

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41926
   Posted 5/6/2017 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Can you get a lawyer and fight for long term disability? If you aren't able to work, you need the help. The insurance company is probably trying to get you to give up. Don't let them win...

One day at a time is all we can do. Take the things as they come and not sooner. But talk to a lawyer and see if you can get full disability. Talk to your doctor too. If the doctor thinks you can work then there is no reason to fight it. But if not, take it all the way.

Hang in there, I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

RobLee
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 394
   Posted 5/6/2017 2:40 PM (GMT -7)   
That's pretty rotten that she would leave you after 30 years. You don't mention if it may have had anything to do with your disability. That can indeed stress any marriage. But I have to say, before you set your mind on ending your life, think back how much you have struggled to get as far as you are now. If you have faced any sort of serious illness or injury (whatever caused your disability) think of how HARD YOU FOUGHT just to stay alive. That's what you need now, the resolve to get thru this, no matter what. Good luck with this. It is not the end.

jonevers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/6/2017 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you much,she is also disabled with anxiety,and vertigo,and she blames me for her illness,granted we had our fights and verbal abuses,but I would never do this to her,nomatter what she did,she is just being mean,and hiding behind her anger,but my therapist says eventually she will have to deal with her issues,and I will be better for it,because I wiont be around for her to blame.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41926
   Posted 5/7/2017 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
You are not the fault of her illnesses. Know that eventually she will see that. I am sorry for what you are going through. Try to hang in there. Take it one day at a time. That is the best you can do.

I hope things start getting better soon and that you can find peace and happiness.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

jonevers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/7/2017 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you,every word of encourangment helps!!

Peter67
New Member


Date Joined May 2017
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/8/2017 8:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Like you I'm a guy. Guys generally don't have close friends to talk to. That's just the way we are. After having gone through some pretty painful breakups I can only tell you to really take care of your self. What I mean you are like an open wound that needs to heal. Give it time. Try not to worry about tomorrow. You have enough to deal with today. Your dealing with a lot of painful.emotions. that's normal. Just take it one step at a time and baby yourself.
..

1013
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2016
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 5/9/2017 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Jon
You say you're disabled,thus your unable to work,I think this is what you're saying,if I'm correct than you should be entitled to SSI
You have nothing to loose by trying.,as far as your wife is concerned I'm not Ina position to help you as I have not been in your shoes.my advice is listening to your professional help.Remember no one can make another sick as she blamed you.

Good luck

jonevers
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 5/9/2017 7:44 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you, for all the replys.helps alot
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