Hello Domino. Needing a purpose and objective to work towards...yes, I can relate to that. Most likely why I garden. After a series of work related injuries and subsequent surgeries (9 of them), I was 'declared' disabled as of 2006. It took 3 years for the decision from Workers Compensation and SSD. I was put back on anti depressants and started therapy with a counselor that I credit with restoring me to sanity. He helped me wrap my brain around 'early retirement'. It wasn't 'just a job' that I lost. Working gave me more than 'just a paycheck'. It gave me a purpose, a schedule, interaction with others, a sense of pride, etc.
The garden helps me in a number of ways. It gives me a schedule, goals to be accomplished, seeing the 'fruits of my labors'...it also gets me outside, gets me exercise, starts conversations, brings compliments and a chance to 'teach' others just getting started.
I live in the northeast which means we get snow, ice and freezing temperatures. The winter is challenging for me. Along with living in a tiny space, which I share with my daughter, grandson, 2 pitbulls and 7 cats, the short cold days and long dark nights present a daunting obstacle each year. I've started 'forcing' bulbs indoors and feeding the winter birds.
I'm glad to hear that you and your partner have talked things out. Having a supportive person in our lives makes the battle easier. You say you have a 'tiny body'...I hope it's not so tiny that you can't give blood. I weigh 94lbs...too 'tiny' to be a blood donor. I don't know if it will help your present medical difficulties but it will probably make you feel very good about yourself. You might want to check with your local hospital directly as some of the organizations known for blood donations charge hospitals for the blood they collect. Giving directly would keep those costs down for the facility.
multiple surgeries for rotator cuff both shoulders with residual chronic impingement syndrome, ulnar nerve transposition, carpal tunnel release, wrist ganglionectomies/denervectomies/tenolysis, multiple herniated discs, tarlov cyst, whiplash, bursitis of hips, tendonitis, torus, 3rd degree shoulder separation, torn labrum, ovarian cysts, fibroid tumors of the uterus