about volunteer work, you say, "I mentioned somethings I like to do above but the volunteer stuff I wouldn't do because I'm not forced to do it. I only socialize at work because we're "forced together".
I'm petty much the same way. The only such situation like that I've done was through a mental health group that paid you $1 to $2 an hour for menial work, but it was work.
And while doing the menial work, you got you around people, which lifted your spirits. Hey, I was depressed for a long time. I'll take that improvement.
So what I like to suggest to people who are isolated and depressed, maybe depressed because they are isolated, is to try volunteer work. It puts them around people, which is therapeutic, and it gives them a chance to help, which is also beneficial, both ways.
And it sometimes gives them a chance to help people who are having it rough. That's therapeutic, also.
But I know what you're talking about, not really wanting to do that. But depression is not a lot of fun, either, so, sometimes we (including me) might have to make choices we don't like, to avoid something (depression) we like even less.
about being positive, you said:
"I've had many people tell me I have a negative attitude. I've had very little positive happen to me in life so finding something positive is not easy. Here's an example, If I get a raise at work is that a positive knowing all the extra work that comes with it might not be worth it."
I've done that. As a child, if something good happened to me, I would think, "Yeah, but it could have happened to me sooner."
OK, that's a negative attitude in both cases. And it happened in both cases because we had jerks for a parent(s). OK, no problem.
But in both cases, our parent(s) were negative, and that's where we learned it. No problem. But it is a problem, for us.
I now say to myself, "One problem at a time, and be positive about that problem." I'm not positive all day long. I can't do that, either.
Just when I have a problem, I try to tell myself from the start of that problem, that I think that I can solve this. And I solve more problems than I use to that way.