Hi Free Hugs,
I know I'm a couple months behind on your original post, but I so identify with your dilemma. I also stopped anti-depressants after being on them for 10 years. They stopped working, and my doctor tried switching me to a different one, which brought an onslaught of side effects and "discontinuation syndrome" (aka withdrawal). He couldn't tell whether my symptoms were from withdrawal or side effects, so he gave me the option of stopping both meds, which I did. I was fine for 2 months, then went back into depression and anxiety. I feel the same as you about much of Western medicine these days. It's been almost a year since I stopped the meds, and I still struggle. I go to therapy weekly and find that if I exercise regularly, my mood improves significantly. The hard part is exercising consistently, and it's why I think I still struggle with my mood so much. Mindfulness meditation has also helped me a lot, too, but again, creating a consistent habit is hard for me.
Regardless of whether or not you went back on meds, I highly recommend looking into Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy. See if there are any groups near you.
All the best,