For your reading endurement, I thought I would copy part of one of my posts from Cancer Forums back in April. Some of you might be able to relate to what I was feeling at the time...
Believe me, the view from the bottom of the well is a LOT different from how it looks up top. Most days I can walk past "the well", even approach the edge and look down into the well and think "gee, that doesn't look so bad... that shouldn't be so hard to climb out of". But I never know just when I'm going to fall in, or when I do, how long I'll be down there. And as I'm flailing about down there, screaming for help, I can look up and see all the people standing around the edge looking down and thinking "that doesn't look so bad". And once I finally manage to get out, then I have to apologize to everyone that I may have offended when I was down there.... which doesn't make me feel any better. And some of them may have actually given me a little shove, granted it's never intentional, just some little thing that pushed me over the edge.
According to the American Cancer Society, 15 to 35% of cancer patients experience depression. That means either one out of three or one out of seven. That's a huge gap. I suppose it's actually 1 in 3 that are depressed but only 1 in 7 report it, or feel they need to do something about it. Thinking back, I remember at least a half dozen times I've visited doctors and described what should be classic symptoms... endless crying fits, tightness in the chest, unable to breath, feeling a need to escape rather than engage in an uncomfortable discussion. As I describe to my doctor(s) what I feel are serious problems I just see this blank look on his face, like all he's thinking is "what's the least I can do to get this guy out of my office".
I was amazed at the difference in medical care between what my wife has had compared to what I get. I've sat with her thru her many doctors visits. Her doctor asks are you in pain, and how is your emotional state? She even looked at each of us and said "you have cancer, and YOU have cancer, this is going to be difficult... you will need to be sure that you do not let it affect your mental state". My doctor just says "I'm putting you on hormone deprivation therapy... there will be some side effects".
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you cannot see... be gentle, be kind.