Heheh, "wall of text", love it.
I've been depressed most of my adult life. Not just meloncholy, but drive-your-car-into-a-concrete-abutment-spend-a-week-in-the-loony-bin messed up. I've started, stopped, and changed antidepressants more times than I can remember. I'm managing my depression for the most part, but every now and then I lose control and spiral down. Sometimes for weeks, sometimes for months, sometimes for years. It sucks. It's awful. I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.
But, I never, ever stop loving my wife. She's the reason I'm only half as messed up as I should be. She's the kind of non-judgemental friend and companion that everyone deserves. I do my best to live up to her standards of compassion, but I always fall short. She's the reason I get up in the morning. She's the reason I work hard. She's the reason I am always trying to be the best person I can be.
Your dude ran away from you because HIS life got complicated.
Can you imagine how reliable he would be if YOU needed him?
Generally I've found that being depressed does NOT make you act like a jerk, unless you're already a jerk. Your BF didn't cut and run cuz he's a depressed pillar of the community, he cut and ran because he's a jerk.
Many people have great success having relationships where one or both of the partners are mentally ill. Very few people have successful relationships with when one partner demands unreasonable accommodations.
You sound like a wonderful, caring person. Go find yourself someone worthy of you.
Thank you for your reply, and I a sorry to hear depression has been so cruel to you. But it's good to hear your depression did not attack how you feel about
your wife. I wish that were true of my boyf...ex. Still getting used to that.
If all I knew about
him was that he left me without warning and never checked on me again, I'd think he was a jerk too. But I know him, and I know he is a kind and caring person. No, he's not always been reliable when I've needed him, but he's tried (he showed up to a special event of mine even though he was full of anxiety recently), and when he fails he beats himself up over being a bad boyfriend.
It is hard to reconcile who he is with what he did, because this is so out of character.
He never demanded unreasonable accommodations, but he definitely needed them a few times. And I fear one of those times was when I did not respond accordingly.