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Myself 09
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Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6098
   Posted 6/26/2017 12:42 PM (GMT -7)   
It has been a rough few weeks. I have had to drop students iun the middle of a lesson in the past week twice because Mom needed help. Once, her bed alarm went off,and she was lurching to the restroom. Another time, I heard her calling--and she had tried to get out of bed and slid down the side of the bed.Thank goodness for 911.She ended upon the floor Friday night,sound asleep. She now has abed with full rails, and an amazingly loud alarm system.

She continues to go down. Most of the time,she thinks I am my niece. My brother told me that when she asks about me, it is always as if I am the little girl. We go through photo albums almost daily. So, I am her multi-purpose daughter(s) or niece. Whatever is needed. We just read through cards sent by her church, and I managed to keep from crying. But I am now.

There is less work right now. I am nervous about money--what else is new? I spent much of the weekend freezing chard and squash for the winter. Mom and I ate my first cucumber today. I hope she hangs on f or the first tomato. We are still trying to get her into a nursing home. She was never wealthy,and we certainly are not.There is great complicating plans to assess the house and sell, and then place her with the money. We all want to keep her home--but keeping her safe is better.

Lastly, I am filled with a great anger at the medical system in this country. Hospice has been great--but we have been trying to get funding for so long now. As she is currently covered by federal insurance from her job, and only part of medicare, nursing homes are not covered. I am having to cut down on my medications due to price, and I have little faith this will get better.

Be well, all.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41928
   Posted 6/26/2017 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Can she get supplemental help? Or Medicaid? Just wondering. Often they will apply to the state for help with the remainder of what can't be paid by her. I am sorry you are going through so much right now.

Deep breaths and stay in the moment. Things will get better.

Gentle hugs,

Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

F27
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 875
   Posted 6/26/2017 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry M09, you must feel so trapped and frustrated.

Dementia care is tough in Canada too. My dad had to break his hip in order to move to the front of the line for an extended care facility. Still he spent 6 months in a hospital bed waiting for a placement.

Hopefully you can get a quick mortgage on your mom's house.

Guilt one of your relatives into giving you the weekend off so you and BF can sit in a park for a couple of days.

You be well too.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20048
   Posted 6/26/2017 9:26 PM (GMT -7)   
many healing thoughts i send. we are engaging in the social worker at the rehab centre my mum is in. for specialised housing, as they have direct contact with housing services.

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7179
   Posted 6/30/2017 11:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Keep trying, it is beyond overwhelming.

Ask if Hospice as a case worker that can assist you.

Peace and strength
Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Myself 09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6098
   Posted 7/1/2017 9:46 AM (GMT -7)   
She slept for three days after I posted this. She woke up some yesterday to eat a little, but still was very confused. She asked me about milk and butter (?), and to ask Joe where he got his. My uncle Joe has been dead for 15 years.

I do not know if we will actually need a placement in a home.
Ulcerative Colitis 2003, Fibromyalgia DX 2005, Crohn's 2013, Enteropathic arthritis, 2013. Family History of Fibro--2 out of 3 siblings diagnosed. Started SCD-June 2013. *There are three kinds of people in the world: ones who see the glass as half-full, ones who see the glass as half-empty, and others who see a big crack in the side which is leaking all over their %$#@# foot

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41928
   Posted 7/1/2017 10:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Bless you Myself. I know it isn't easy what you are going through. Sending endurance your way...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Myself 09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6098
   Posted 7/4/2017 5:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, all, for your warm thoughts.

The hospice nurse, a lovely lady named Michelle, said yesterday that we are looking at just a few weeks. Mom will not rebound from the latest stroke. Mom is not interested in eating, which is totally normal at this stage. It was nice today--we went out for a cookout and while Mom was not alert, she was not confused. She knew who we were.

I will continue to work out at the house, so someone is there at all times.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20048
   Posted 7/5/2017 2:54 AM (GMT -7)   
many healing thoughts.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41928
   Posted 7/5/2017 4:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Thinking of you Myself... One day at a time...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

F27
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 875
   Posted 7/5/2017 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey MO9, I don't know if this will help, but when I went through this with my dad I was reading every book I could find that normalized death. I didn't know it at the time, but reading those books helped me prepare emotionally for my dad's demise, and led directly to a really special moment at his death-bed.

The books I remember are:

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - Caitlin Doughty
Five Days at Memorial - Sheri Fink
One Foot In Heaven, Journey of a Hospice Nurse - Heidi Tepner

Stay strong.

wearyRAsufferer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2474
   Posted 7/5/2017 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Wishing you peace and all my best.
Reminds me of my father's last moments
We made the best of it and memories are bittersweet-but glad I was a part of it.
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