Dear Insp Gadget;
I am so sorry you lost your mom. Was it sudden? Were you close to your mom?
It's too bad that you don't believe in therapy, because it would help. There are all kinds and grief therapy is one.
If I can recommend another site, there is a grief and support board on WebMD that might be a good place for you to post and get support.
When my parents died, the grief came in waves. I would think it would be gone and then, like a wave that sneaks up behind you in the ocean, there would come one and it would crash over me, taking me by surprise and pulling up sadness and grief all over again. It eventually subsided as I went through the grief process. Now I am still sad they are gone, but I can miss them without pain.
I hope you will look into grief counselling, which is available in many places and can give you a support group to talk with and people to relate to who are having similar experiences.
Good luck and I'm so sorry for your loss and your grief.