Sick or Depressed?

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 7/21/2017 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Please forgive me for this may be long.

I know you guys are not medical professionals, but maybe you have experienced some of this and can guide me. Here we go:

My husband and I decided to separate in February. We are seeing a counselor, but I feel we are not getting anywhere back to a happy marriage. We have a son and we are wonderful partners when it comes to him. Which I am so grateful for.

In March, I started feeling ill. Waking up nauseous, weak, feeling of phlegm stuck in my throat, and throat irritation. I went to the doctor, I have seen an ENT, I have seen the GI, and I have seen an allergist. ENT believed it was silent reflex. Allergist found I had allergies to many trees, weeds, and grasses. I was given nasal sprays and two different medications: Omeprazole for morning and Ranitidine for bed. The doctor also said it could be stress from everything. However, I didn't feel stressed. I moved back with my dad and he has helped me a lot. They upped my Zoloft to 100mg. My GI did an upper endoscopy and said everything looked normal and believed I didn't have reflux. Said I could stop the Omeprazole.

Now if you read my last post you may know that I saw a Psychiatric nurse practitioner who said that it did sound like I had a lot going on with separation and feeling ill. Before seeing her I was feeling much better, but I was mostly just living life and not so much enjoying it like I used to. She upped my zoloft to 150, but everything started feeling worse. I had started getting really sad and crying for hours. I was waking up with all the same feelings from before. This time I was also feeling tingles in my arms and legs. I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I went back to 100 mg thinking it was the zoloft. I was able to see my therapist two days ago and just cried and let it all out to him. He too thinks I'm stressed and scared. Scared to make decisions in my life right now.

I went home and made a plan. I felt a little better. Woke up not feeling well the next day, but not as bad as the days prior. In fact, I wake up feeling like crap, but as the day goes on, I begin to feel better. Still not myself though. Last night, I was feeling fine. Today, however, I started feeling the sadness creep in about an hour ago. I want to cry, but I can't.

I guess what I'm wondering is has anyone felt this way before? Can it be that I'm just sad and stressed? Or am I depressed? Or am is there something physically wrong with me?

I'm tried of this up and down. I want my old self back. I'm not suicidal and I don't have thoughts of harming myself. But I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know how to swim.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 395
   Posted 7/22/2017 6:25 AM (GMT -7)   
I wish I could say something encouraging, something like everything will be alright. But I can't even be sure of that. I do know that you have posted here several times already with pretty much the same symptoms. You are indeed going thru a rough patch in your life, and please do not think me callous when I say that everyone has problems. My signature line on another forum is "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you cannot see". I cannot diagnose any of your problems, but can maybe impart a little of my own experience.

Please realize that physicians have a limited repertoire of treatable conditions and a vast arsenal of therapies for the conditions they know. If you are still having GI problems (basically nausea was the only one you mentioned) then sometimes it becomes a matter of shopping around until you find a doctor who has seen your condition before. You mentioned omeprazole... it did not work for me. But I was on Prevacid, a similar drug that was Rx at the time, now OTC and worked when taken every morning. Now I use Nexium, again very similar but works slightly better. They work because I have a known condition that these drugs are known to be effective for. If you give a drug a fair trial... several months, and it doesn't help, then that's not the treatment for you.

I have never used Zoloft, but I know it is a very commonly prescribed anti-depressant. It does have side effects and each A/D has other properties relating to anxiety, obsession, dysphoria etc for which each may be effective where another similar drug may not be effective. Some doctors simply have a favorite drug that they prescribe for anyone with a certain set of symptoms.Again, if one does not work, it may be time to move on to another. I'm sure there are other forum members here who have been thru that. Also, if 100mg gave you some relief and 150 does not, then you should probably stick with the lower dose. It was prescribed for you at that level and you cannot be forced to increase it if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

You have the right to refuse any form of treatment. Always remember that. Also you are not required to remain with any provider or therapist with whom you do not feel comfortable. Sometimes insurance may dictate such matters but you have a choice in all things.

No drug is going to make your separation and the accompanying feelings of loss and remorse any better. Same goes for liquor and any street drugs. You need to work thru this and hope that things will get better. Count your blessings as they say. I'm guessing you are probably in overall good health. Be thankful for that. You have your father on your side. You have your son you say you are grateful for, and if you screw this up he could conceivably be taken from you (sorry to be a downer, but it does happen). Just trying to be realistic here.

Good luck working thru your separation and your other issues. Life is not easy, but the alternatives are few.
2014-15: PSA's 9, 12, 20, 25... Neg DRE, Neg TRUS biopsy
6/16: MRI Fusion biopsy, Rt Base, 2x40%+2x100% all G8(4+4)
8/16: DaVinci RP, PNI, 6mm EPE, BL SVI, pT3b N0M0
1/17: start one year Lupron ADT, PSA's ~.03
5/17:AMS800 AUS implanted, revised 5/30
38 fractions IMRT SRT scheduled Aug-Oct 2017
Age 66, recently retired to Florida 'just in time'

Myself 09
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6098
   Posted 7/22/2017 7:18 AM (GMT -7)   
When I separated and divorced my husband, I felt drastically ill for about three-four months. I threw myself into work.

When my sister died, I started a long skid down. Depression, anxiety, flare of UC and fibro, with vomiting and headaches and extreme lethargy. I had to quit my job, but I hated it anyway. During this time, my ADs went from zoloft to effexor (which was better) and when buproprion was added, I found a combination that was helpful. It took about 18 months for me to recover some sense of myself and recover from my physical and emotional pain.

We all go through really ugly and bad times. Our body and mind react to the stress and to the emotional upset, and it does take time to heal. we may think we are dealing with things-and we are--but what happens physically and unconsciously is different. Our perception of events is not always accurate.

Every life goes through these emotionally-difficult events periodically-deaths, divorces, loss of job. Sometimes it takes time and help to get things together again.
Ulcerative Colitis 2003, Fibromyalgia DX 2005, Crohn's 2013, Enteropathic arthritis, 2013. Family History of Fibro--2 out of 3 siblings diagnosed. Started SCD-June 2013. *There are three kinds of people in the world: ones who see the glass as half-full, ones who see the glass as half-empty, and others who see a big crack in the side which is leaking all over their %$#@# foot

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 292
   Posted 7/23/2017 11:00 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry your are going through this. It is completely normal that you would be depressed, anxious, emotional and your body will manifest physical symptoms too. That is not to say that they are not real and should be addressed too. You are grieving. Do you have a Counselor/therapist you can also talk to? You are going to get through this. Just hang in there. ***HUG****

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2015
Total Posts : 2186
   Posted 7/24/2017 6:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Globulus Histericus. It is a real syndrome. The feeling of something 'stuck' in the throat.

Stress is insidious. Just because we wake up and put our feet on the floor and go through the motions of getting through the day does not mean we are 'handling our stress' well.

Sleeping alone again...feelings of 'failure'...single parenting...on and on and on.

Loss is loss, grief is grief. When 'happily ever after' turns into '***' there will be stress.

Take a soaking bath, listen to music, try some art, get a pedicure...take care of YOU.
multiple surgeries for rotator cuff both shoulders with residual chronic impingement syndrome, ulnar nerve transposition, carpal tunnel release, wrist ganglionectomies/denervectomies/tenolysis, multiple herniated discs, tarlov cyst, whiplash, bursitis of hips, tendonitis, torus, 3rd degree shoulder separation, torn labrum, ovarian cysts, fibroid tumors of the uterus
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