Whoa. What a story. Here’s mine:
Wife was sexually abused as a child. When she got caught cheating for 7 years, wife had no patience putting up with a husband who couldn’t deal with that, and her Plan B was for the husband to leave, leave his ½ of their house, leave their 3 year old child, leave.
When husband didn’t leave, start of 37 years of verbal/emotional abuse, the first 10 of which the cheating continued unknown, added to the first 7 years when it was not known until the last.
How did I described that? Two dogs in a pit. We couldn’t get out of the pit. Because of the child, because of the house. With bipolar, it was difficult for me to hold a job, and along with the child for 15 of those years, I’m stuck in the pit.
She’s stuck in the pit because she doesn’t want to give up her ½ of the house, or the child for the first 15 years of that.
She was very controlling and isolating. Even when I came back from the doctor, it was, “What did he say?” and when I told her, she would argue with what he said. My going to the doctor was a threat to her, for he might help me, if she couldn’t pry us apart, by disagreeing with everything that he said.
She would pick up the phone in her room sometime when I was in my room talking to someone.
Because of a health problem, I found it difficult to drive a car. I was triple trapped.
The only thing I had left was my mind, and with bipolar, and her harping, that could dwindle.
She made sure our son was in her camp, by, one way, giving him money to be loyal to her.
She had it going there for about 37 years. Then, as a smoker, she got sick from that, and died after 3 years, which was 8 years ago.
It was like seeing a train coming at you, and watching it veer off the track at the last second. It was an unbelievable feeling, of how did I get away from that?
So who took over her attacks on me after she died? Only in a movie would you see this, as she handed the mantle of her anger over to our then some 35 year old son. Unbelievable.
For 7 1/2 years he came after me, with my not knowing, as with my not knowing that she was having an affair for 7 years, and then when I found out, she continued it for 10 more years, again, without my knowing it.
Right, what kind of idiot are we dealing with here? Exactly.
Anyway, but to be nice, six months ago, right, I caught on that my now 42 year old son had been coming after me following her death now almost 8 years ago.
I’m shocked! Life is filled with surprises, for idiots!
Well, I quit having anything to do with him, now going on 7 months ago, so I guess I’m as close to contented as I’ll ever be. It is better in some ways, but there are still obstacles, exactly.
I do have some lasting physical scars from that. It would come from a physical condition which my wife and then my son would go after at every chance.
How did you make your break, your emotional, physical, geographical break? Did you have help? Did you have inner strength? What factors pieced it together for you?
I have inner strength from my health problems, which can boost my ego, to continue on.
“But, the words he used will always plague me.” Ohh! Bad dude.
What caused him to be like that?