A week later and I just wanted to give an updated and ask for support/advice.
Last night I went to his place. I needed to get somethings (we were living together), he texted me the night before and asked I would like to have dinner with him. It wasn’t easy being there because the pain is still pretty deep. I think it was good, but that’s what I need a little unbiased support.
In the past week I’ve relived our relationship, the good and the bad. Saying this I recognized that I missed so many signs that he was struggling.
Anyway, I told myself that I was going to make a positive experience (at least to the best of my ability).
We both tried to talk openly and honestly about the way things ended and the reasons he has to do this on his own.
He told me that he feels like he has flatlined, that he can’t find any joy in his life, that nothing makes him happy. No matter how nice his house or his car is, no matter how much money he has. He can’t pull himself out of this and he won’t survive if he doesn’t find a way to deal with it. I went to a depression support group earlier this week and we talked about some of things I learned.
I told him I have no understanding of what he is going through but that I am reading and researching, trying to at least find ways to be supportive.
We agreed that he needs space right now, to get on him meds and to try and clear his head a little. I told him I’m not going to disappear from his life and he said that he didn’t want me to, that I need to give him time.
We both agreed that for now being friends is enough, that eventually we will talk and do things as friends.
I have to tell myself that I need to have patience with him and be kind to myself in the process.