Teen age daughter advice needed.

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CassandraLee
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 887
   Posted 8/2/2017 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello All. Brief question for all of you as I am getting ready for work. I just started a new, second job and it is teaching ESL online to students in China. Because of the time difference I should be getting to bed by 9:00-9:30 every evening to get up early to work each morning. However, this is proving impossible as my 18 year old daughter has been going out every night and I am staying up to 11 - 11:30 waiting up for her. I take Trazodone each night to help me sleep throughout the night and I haven't been taking it until she gets in. I want to make sure I am awake enough and able to drive if I have to.

I am now exhausted at both jobs and it is also causing my depression and anxiety to flare as well. I didn't want to give my daughter an early curfew on her summer vacation nights as it did not seem fair to her. However, this is obviously not good for me. Can I have any suggestions on how to handle this? Am I old fashioned in waiting up for her (please note I am a single mom) or should I just lay down a curfew as I have to take care of myself too?

Thanks ahead for any help.

Cass

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/2/2017 6:36:33 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41934
   Posted 8/2/2017 5:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Maybe tell her 10:00. That would help you to get to bed earlier. But it wouldn't be 9:00 or 9:30 as you are use to. I know it is hard, you want to give her a little freedom. But she is living in your house so it is perfectly acceptable to make some rules.

Talk to her as an adult and see if she will compromise. Either that or just take your meds and go to bed early. Hopefully all will be well. I know it is hard when you worry about your children.

Hang in there Cass.

I am going to give your title a thread so you will get more responses.

Hugs, Karen...
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getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41934
   Posted 8/2/2017 5:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I see you gave it a title, it just hasn't come up yet...
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pitmom
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Date Joined Jan 2015
Total Posts : 2186
   Posted 8/2/2017 7:48 AM (GMT -7)   
My daughter is now 35. You've spent the last 18 years teaching your daughter about how she should conduct herself. Have a chat with her and let her know what's going on. Maybe she can be in earlier Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and later Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

I know it's hard to 'trust' that she has learned how to navigate the world on her own. You've given her the lessons, now it's time for her to put them to use.

By splitting up the 'late nights' she will learn to be considerate and that adjustments are needed when you work for a living.
multiple surgeries for rotator cuff both shoulders with residual chronic impingement syndrome, ulnar nerve transposition, carpal tunnel release, wrist ganglionectomies/denervectomies/tenolysis, multiple herniated discs, tarlov cyst, whiplash, bursitis of hips, tendonitis, torus, 3rd degree shoulder separation, torn labrum, ovarian cysts, fibroid tumors of the uterus

Myself 09
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Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6098
   Posted 8/3/2017 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   
I am not a mom.

But I agree with Pitmom--she is 18, even if she is living under your roof. Talk to her--as an adult, she can set her own hours but she does have to respect others who live with her. In practice, curfews after the age of 18 rarely will work--and can cause an ugly disagreement.

51Talk? I do the teaching as well--and it is interesting.

CassandraLee
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 887
   Posted 8/5/2017 11:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your responses Karen, Pitmom and Myself. I will try to talk to her either tonight or tomorrow about this. I definitely do not want any arguments; that is something I want to avoid. And Myself, you have a good point that a curfew would probably not work anyway. I will let you know how that conversation goes.

Myself, I am working with VipKid as an independent contractor. It has been a month now. I have only had about eight bookings though. Many others have been hired in the past two to three months. A lot have had zero bookings (or half hour classes), while others have had 35 to 40 bookings per week. I'm a little discouraged but I am giving it my all. How are you doing? Also, if you don't mind me asking, what other companies do you work for online?

Cass

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41934
   Posted 8/5/2017 1:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I hope that the talk goes well Cass. It is a point of mutual respect. I am sure that the two of you can compromise.

Have a great rest of the day!

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Myself 09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6098
   Posted 8/5/2017 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey C! I teach with 51Talk--and I like it for the most part. There is some cross-cultural confusion at times. But I have only had one hostile student, and have a bunch of regulars. I have been with them since February--and usually average anywhere from 10-15 bookings a week. They have a non-compete clause--so I cannot work for any other Chinese company.

I also do tutoring on tutor.com and Brainfuse. Love the first-luke-warm about the second. I most do college level writing--though periodically get history or sociology. I was doing SAT rating--but that is seasonal and my numbers went way down in the last 6 weeks of the testing period. I was trying to care for Mom and do the rating--but that did not really work out well.

Good luck with the conversation.

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 887
   Posted 8/5/2017 5:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Myself. I have a non-compete clause as well. My contract runs for 6 months and that is how long i am bound to it. But hopefully things will pick up because I love doing it!!

Thanks again. I'll be talking to my daughter tomorrow!

Cass
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