resistant depression

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helpmeplease100
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/7/2017 8:35 AM (GMT -7)   
All,

My spouse left me almost 2 years ago. We were married 15 years and raised a child together.
We had, what i considered, the perfect relationship and the perfect life.
We have no contact, although I have reached out to her and asked to have a cup of coffee. The answer was no.

I know she has moved on and i cannot move on no matter how much/how hard i have tried. I stay away from seeing her on social media and luckily we have not bumped into each other. I don't actively seek her out or try to learn anything about her (of course we have so many mutual friends, i end up hearing small things)

I'm taking quite a bit of depression medicine and we have tried tweaking with other medicine/different medicines to see if i can kick this depression. Which I can't. I'm to the point of giving up.

Nothing seems to touch this. I'm turning from an extremely outgoing, healthy, adventurous person, to a person that cannot wait to leave work and get into the bed to just sleep. I gained almost 20 pounds. Exercise is impossible- I do not have the energy to do it (although I have tried numerous times)

I have reached out to friends and family, traveled frequently, made a few new friends, attended talk therapy, become interested in a few new things.... but i cannot do these things for long. And i've almost lost of my will.

I am very so incredibly down, not hopeful, in pain, cant function, cant get out of my head, cant function at work, can barely carry on long conversations...

I'm in serious need of help. Can anyone please help me?

Tim Tam
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2016
Total Posts : 1074
   Posted 8/7/2017 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I'll tell you what helped me, but it doesn't have the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

My wife treated me like a dog for 37 years, yeah, cheated and all of that, then got a long term illness and passed away.

Five years later, I'm still missing her, go figure that one. You know anybody like that?

Anyway, I had this woman who was helping me, ripping me off, does that remind you of anybody, and to get the desired long term "loan," she figured out a way to get into my house, it's not easy, I'm kinda cautious, and then figured out a way to stand kinda close, as in serving up the bait for upcoming "loan request," and I fell into the trap for five seconds of glory. It was a very expensive five seconds.

But I'll take it. It was a con job, but, hey we all gotta take the fall somehow, and I'll take it that way.

She got the "loan request" a few days later when she asked, knowing I was hooked, I got the five seconds of glory, and then had the pigeon's reaction to being conned when I found out, right, it didn't mean anything to her except for the upcoming "loan" part.

Cold, huh? Yeah, cold, but very effective.

Which brings us to what? It brings us to, that five seconds of glory attached me to this woman, and detached me, finally, from my now deceased wife after five years.

The next day, after five seconds of glory, I took my wife's cloths off of the rack in her closet, and put them on the bed to be taken to the Thrift Store at earliest convenience. Why? I wasn't emotionally attached to her anymore, I was emotionally attached to the con artist through physical contact. Love works in mysterious ways.

The physical and emotional contact went together. And aren't we glad?

My therapist had been saying for years, "Forget her!" The con artist didn't say anything. She just knew a sucker when she saw one, she just let me have five seconds of glory, got the loan and got the heck out of my life. Physical therapy, thank you! It's even got a socially acceptable name!

A washday miracle, at no cost to you. Well there is a cost, but for what I gained in the long run, comparatively cheap. What did I gain? I gained not being emotionally bound to a woman who treated me like a dog for 37 years, and had been deceased by about five years.

It's not a perfect world, Fred. But "Jane Smith" made sure it's better than what the alternative might be.

So our problems are not exactly the same, but they're close enough. I'm not saying get a new love, that comes with new problems. I'm saying, meet "Jane," she'll help you out of your money and out of your problems. What therapist doesn't?

Oh, well, I don't know if I've done any good. It worked for me. Find something you love. Or find Jane. She's out there somewhere. It won't be love but it will be close enough.

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7144
   Posted 8/7/2017 12:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome Help

You have found soft and supportive place to land.

Here is some information on coping skills to help the medication do its job.
Ask the doc that is prescribing the med about COPING SKILLS.

SKILLS:

DBT:

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_skills__defined_.html

http://www.dbtmind.com/

http://pdfreedownload.com/pdf/dialectical-behavior-therapy-workbook

http://www.mindful.org

www.goodtherapy.org/Cognitive_Behavioral_Therapy.html#


CBT:

www.webmd.com/depression/guide/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-for-depression

cbt-examples.com/

http://www.anxietybc.com/self-help-cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt


www.steadyhealth.com/articles/Examples_of_Cognitive_Therapy_Exercises_a501.html


LIST OF COPING SKILLS

www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx


DIET:

www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php

Whole food diet site. Good Nutrition has been seen to help reduce depression is some people.

KEEP posting, ask anything, tell us how you feel, if you feel real down, ask your doc
about a OUT-PATIENT program. It did me a lot of good.

Peace and strength.
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Post Edited (BnotAfraid) : 8/7/2017 1:31:05 PM (GMT-6)


helpmeplease100
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 8/7/2017 12:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
I've done a lot with mindfulness and unfortunately my mind is not cooperative right now.

In addition to my regular doctor visits, i am going to do hypnotherapy and acupuncture.
I'm curious if anyone has had success with that?

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7144
   Posted 8/7/2017 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Mindfulness is on of my go pos

I and working with a book entitle "mindfulness to Self-Compassion" by Germer PhD[?]


I used accupuncture for severe pain and it worked. I suppose it may work for depression.
Expensive, but what ever works right?


Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
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