depression due to illnesses

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/22/2017 11:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I just signed up for this site today after hearing about it through the Crisis Text Line, and I think this is such an amazing website.

I'm a 17 year old senior in high school with panic/anxiety disorder, depression, Celiac Disease, Fibromyalgia, and Gastroparesis. I'm being tested for Ehler's Danlos Syndrome and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as well. I use a walker everyday and I try to go to school as much as I can, but sometimes everything just becomes too much...some days I feel like I should just stop taking my medications and doing my treatments and just let my body kill itself. It's scary and it's not okay to think like this, but I don't know what to do.

I usually watch these two men on YouTube named Dan and Phil when I'm depressed. They help immensely, but when I'm stuck in school or in the hospital without Internet, there's no way to cheer myself up or distract myself from the agonizing pain.

I'm miserable, and I need something, anything, to keep me motivated to keep living.

Thank you for reading.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 292
   Posted 8/23/2017 1:12 AM (GMT -7)   
chronicbailey, I am so sorry that you have so many illnesses to deal with at such a young age. I admire your strength to go to school AND reach out to this forum for support. You are worthy of support. It is not uncommon to have the thoughts that you do. Our "quality of life" affects our will to live. I can tell though by reading your post that you are a fighter and you are going to be OKAY. Do you have a pet? I have gotten through my darkest hours with a furry best friend by my side.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41818
   Posted 8/23/2017 4:38 AM (GMT -7)   
I find distractions help a lot with pain. When we are in school, we need to pay attention, but when in the hospital, well, it can get boring and we tend to think too much. Can you record your show somehow so you can watch it in the hospital?

I am sorry you are going through this at such a young age. Pain is no fun at any age but you are so young and having to deal with this can be hard.

It sounds like you have a pretty good attitude, that helps a lot.

I hope that things get better and that you feel better soon.

Hang in there, welcome to the forum.

Hugs, Karen...

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2015
Total Posts : 2152
   Posted 8/23/2017 5:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to the forum. Sorry you had to come looking for us. I hope you will feel free to visit the other forums that apply to your situation as well as this one. I also use the chronic pain forum here.

Books on tape might be a possibility for you. I love to read, but if I'm having a bad pain day it's 'too much work' and listening is a passive activity.

I also listen to a lot of music. My 'now adult' children can tell what mood I'm in, just by what I'm listening to and 'plan accordingly'. ha ha

Hope things improve quickly for you and I hope to see more from you here!
multiple surgeries for rotator cuff both shoulders with residual chronic impingement syndrome, ulnar nerve transposition, carpal tunnel release, wrist ganglionectomies/denervectomies/tenolysis, multiple herniated discs, tarlov cyst, whiplash, bursitis of hips, tendonitis, torus, 3rd degree shoulder separation, torn labrum, ovarian cysts, fibroid tumors of the uterus

Myself 09
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6087
   Posted 8/23/2017 5:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Welcome CB!!

Chronic conditions are hard, and a lot of people fall prey to depression. It's hard to move through life-always feeling awful. Always in pain.

I have a little insight. Here are my two thoughts for you. First--Illness does not define you, unless you let it. Your illnesses are not the sum total of you. Illnesses are conditions to be managed.

Part of this is that illness fills as much space as we choose to give it. Personally, I prefer to offer that extra real estate to things outside myself.

If you do not fill your time with illnesses(this is both thinking about being ill AND removing yourself from situations because of your illness,) you need to fill the time somehow. I find, in my own experience, that my illness can occupy everything, if I let it.

Secondly--you need to find your motivation--something to fill your time and to matter to you. It does not have to be big or earth-shattering. Sports, community, church, volunteering. My older sister, now dead, took her passion for the environment and for buddhism and made that her touchstone. Start small, and pick up a hobby or interest.
Ulcerative Colitis 2003, Fibromyalgia DX 2005, Crohn's 2013, Enteropathic arthritis, 2013. Family History of Fibro--2 out of 3 siblings diagnosed. Started SCD-June 2013. *There are three kinds of people in the world: ones who see the glass as half-full, ones who see the glass as half-empty, and others who see a big crack in the side which is leaking all over their %$#@# foot

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2017
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 8/24/2017 12:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey welcome your story is very sad but please keep faith that better is on the horizon for you. Have you ever thought of homeschooling I am not talking about isolation you can and should have many friends I am just thinking with the issues you are dealing with you could be better served doing school from home allowing you more flexibility to go to appointments and allowing you more time to relax and watch what you like when you need the distraction if this is possible maybe you could think about talking it over with your parents best of luck to you young man and God bless you
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