Not everyone is meant to stay

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lifeflows
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/13/2017 9:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Not everyone is meant to stay, sometimes not even our own parents...

I have had so many people hurt me, "friends" that weren't true to me, in-laws that never accepted or treated me like family. I've been mistreated and disrespected, but every time I choose to rise above it because I tell myself that as long as I have my family that loves me I'm okay.

Yesterday I found out my dad got married a few weeks ago, everyone knew but me and my siblings.
The women he married never liked us, she wants my dad to stay away from us and stay with her and her kids only. And just like that my father cut all ties with us, he wants nothing to do with us not even his grandkids. He spoke to me with so much anger in his voice while I cry and ask what I did wrong, he said so many hateful things and made me feel so worthless... Just like that he shattered my whole being, my foundation as a person, my hero left me...

F27
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2016
Total Posts : 866
   Posted 9/13/2017 10:17 AM (GMT -7)   
No one can hurt us like family can hurt us.

*sigh*

Relationships, like everything else evolve. Don't expect this family dynamic to be the same in 10 years.

Right now though, you'll have to grieve your loss and take life one day at a time.

Be kind to yourself. smile

lifeflows
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/13/2017 10:32 AM (GMT -7)   
F27 said...
No one can hurt us like family can hurt us.

*sigh*

Relationships, like everything else evolve. Don't expect this family dynamic to be the same in 10 years.

Right now though, you'll have to grieve your loss and take life one day at a time.

Be kind to yourself. smile


Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. I know someday I will be okay, I want to stay positive because I have to work so hard right now to function right for my daughter. One day I will learn to live without him. But for now I will let myself cry so I can slowly let go...

tune
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 9/13/2017 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Lifeflows,

I am sorry to read your troubles. My mother and I had a huge falling out three years ago, to the point where she had hit me quite a bit and kicked me out. I did not speak to her, my step father or my two sisters for two years. It was extremely hard and made me miserable. I came in contact with my step dad randomly last march and we all talked again. Since then it has been really great and we are much stronger.

I don't tell you this to make you upset and I hope I haven't!!! I just hope it will give you some hope in this situation. It is tough and very hard to go through anything. We all feel like our parents are perfect creatures and well, unfortunately it is not so. I hope that he will come to his senses. In the mean time, do you have any other family or close friends you can spend time with?

- Faye
"tune, like, the music!"

generalized anxiety/depression, ocd compulsive thoughts, asthma/allergies, weird headaches

suffering other aliments, trying to find the right solutions!

lifeflows
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/13/2017 3:49 PM (GMT -7)   
tune said...
Lifeflows,

I am sorry to read your troubles. My mother and I had a huge falling out three years ago, to the point where she had hit me quite a bit and kicked me out. I did not speak to her, my step father or my two sisters for two years. It was extremely hard and made me miserable. I came in contact with my step dad randomly last march and we all talked again. Since then it has been really great and we are much stronger.

I don't tell you this to make you upset and I hope I haven't!!! I just hope it will give you some hope in this situation. It is tough and very hard to go through anything. We all feel like our parents are perfect creatures and well, unfortunately it is not so. I hope that he will come to his senses. In the mean time, do you have any other family or close friends you can spend time with?

- Faye


Thank you for sharing your own experience. I have aso experienced that with my mom, she shoved my face in the sink while I was washing my face and then pulled my hair all the way to the hallway, pushed me down and threw my clothes at me and told me to get out because I talked back asking her to stop talking so badly of my dad thats when they just separated. I called my dad but he didnt take me in because he was living with his gf and she has her 2 daughters living with them. I stayed with a friend for a week with nothing to eat but a pack of ramen per day. There's so many things that both my parents have done to me, but in their eyes they did no wrong and im a bad daughter. I have forgiven them, despite that I still loved them I guess that's my biggest mistake, believing that my dad is my hero and I'm his little girl, i was the only one who saw it that way.

Cagedrabbit
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 9/13/2017 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Was he really your hero or did you choose to believe he was your hero. I would not consider my father a hero if he couldn't take me in over a gf and her daughters. Was he your childhood hero?
Before your mom and dad broke up? I hope that you and your dad can resolve your differences, but don't count him as a hero! You
have other people in your life that love you! You be their hero!!!

lifeflows
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/13/2017 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Cagedrabbit said...
Was he really your hero or did you choose to believe he was your hero. I would not consider my father a hero if he couldn't take me in over a gf and her daughters. Was he your childhood hero?
Before your mom and dad broke up? I hope that you and your dad can resolve your differences, but don't count him as a hero! You
have other people in your life that love you! You be their hero!!!



Maybe that is what I have always wanted to believe. After my parents separated he met that woman and everything just went downhill from there. I have to slowly accept reality, he made a choice and I cannot force someone to love me or be a part of my life, I shouldnt have to. I'm not even hoping for him to realize what he has done, because I know he never will. He said his new wife is just a jealous person that's why she doesn't let him spend time with us, his own children, if that is his way of thinking then it's a lost hope and I am now starting to realize that.

Someday I'll be okay, I will slowly learn to live without him. I will be my daughter's hero, no more grandpa, and that's tough to explain to a 4yr old but I pray that we will be okay.

Cagedrabbit
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 9/13/2017 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I know you will be your daughter's hero! Can you even imagine putting someone else above her???
I, too, pray that you will be okay!!!
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