Hi Stahrfisher, I wanted to welcome you to healing well forum...I am so sorry that it is under these conditions. I have had depression for a very long time and am divorced myself for almost two years now. There were many reasons that precipitated the end of my marriage and the first of that would be that I probably shouldn't of married him to begin with. But that is a whole other story for another day. Someone who has depression can often feel numb to family, friends, work and things they normally enjoy. I read some of your other posts and it seems that your husband is denying feeling depressed and also that your pastor just suggested he may be depressed. If I am wrong please do correct me. Not denying or negating what your pastor has done for you or his qualifications in this area but for someone to be diagnosed as depressed or with depression you really have to be evaluated by a psychiatrist or someone who has extensive clinical experience in the psychiatric field. There are self questionnaires that you can take on-line now from major drug companies if you Google it "Depression questionnaire" print one out and ask him to take it if he is agreeable to do so. But it almost sounds to me that he is being defiant in a way as you said that he stated that he liked doing those things with this other woman and playing laser tag. You may not want to continue with the divorce but I would strongly recommend seeking professional counseling for yourself and if he will go with you then hopefully you will be able to repair the damage that has been done. I know you will not be able to forget and it would be hard to forgive but that comes in time. Please do feel free to continue to post. Healing well is a wonderful place for information and support from real people who have been in the same position. Take care.