When he tells me I'm a bad wife it's referring to the lack of attention, affection, desire, etc. and then I just shut down feeling like a terrible person. I told him that telling me I'm a bad wife isn't going to suddenly make me all those things he's wanting, in fact, it does opposite. I said does me mentioning your weight motivate you to lose weight? He said "no, it makes me just want to do nothing, it doesn't motivate me" it's the same concept to me. I often wonder if I would feel differently if he lost weight, but I just don't know.
If he were normal weight and you became 400lb, do you think he would still fancy you? I don't think he's living in the real world here. He needs to realise that at his weight, he's sexually attractive to virtually nobody. And there is the health and fitness aspect as well. Even if he is okay right now, in his 40s, 50s and 60s he won't be: there's a reason why you never see extremely fat 70 year olds. You can try the health angle with him, as Karen suggested. My feeling is, he's not motivated enough and it won't work but you don't lose anything by giving it a go.
Edit: Sorry, you posted before I did! Okay, the health angle hasn't worked.
I'm afraid I'm not seeing a happy future for the two of you. He doesn't want to change and you're desperately unhappy. It isn't your fault and you're not being shallow, though.
Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 9/29/2017 3:14:17 PM (GMT-6)