Posted 9/30/2017 4:05 AM (GMT -7)
as the subject denotes, i must do this. micro managing my family is almost as toxic as living near a nuclear waste dump!! i'm kidding, but ya get the gist. self belief i must generate within myself and believe in myself. this year has been draining, but much good for others, and maybe my karma bank too. need to see me eye doc, posting and reading not so good. continual learning from people keeps me educated on the changing philosophies of life, death and everything in between. my family is quite mixed in culture, and i am glad that it is. i am eating better, sugars and cholesterol are good, other things suck, but this is life.
many people have been positive influences to my development and continued growth, and a lot on this site! i feel lucky to have been influenced by so many on hw. i guess the turtle is getting old or tired, and can't see for !@#*. i can but reading a lot is difficult. i must stop micro managing my family, get my bank card back.......errr and get some things i need. i know what i must do, and plan i do. it's funny, i live in an area that is pretty rough, but the place, and the good people have grown on me. my gov house is old, but she got personality and character; actually it is the longest place i have ever lived in, t5his includes growing up!!
am glad i found a new gp. and endo. and i am glad i am beginning to understand more of what is causing my body grief. i guess i am in a reflective hue of pondering of what is next. i believe in know.....yes i know. i guess making the sacrifice or more so the letting go of ways that are intrinsic in me is a little difficult. i feel this expression may help me. take the leap of faith turtle he says to himself. be not afraid. at least i am putting it out there, from my brain type thing. process is beginning, so this is a positive thing. to embark on a journey i need my mind and body right as can be. my mantra just popped into my head, and one i always use, esp with the newbies, 'slow and steady wins the race'.
we all grow and age, die, isolate, etc. i guess i have seen too much of this. i want to be, harmonise and centered. my journey is already under way, in a demented sense, cause i can see that my existance is stagnant-not fulfilled. career......hmmm, maybe this will happen later on. my journey on this harmonious path may not be a life time.....however many do very well career wise after a period of time on a spiritual journey. i feel 2018 will be a real awakening for me. and i hope for you all.
just wanted to write a few words. i guess i know me best, and thus i will trust in me. i am ready for bed soon. i had a productive day, cleaned linen, washed, did dishes, put shopping away, text my sis and a mate and tidied up a bit. i want to thank you all for my continued learning. every person on this earth has something to offer and teach. my time is upon me, my karma bank is solid!! some of the harsh negatives in my life have taught me a lot. i have learnt that this happens later on, with insight and understanding, and how you dealt with the situation and learnt from it. i guess when my time comes up i want to be able to go in a way to say i achieved some deep wisdom and harmony, and that it has benefited others.
thx for listening. jamie, aka and always, 'the happy turtle'.