Does anyone not want their friends to be successful?

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Lvg123
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2016
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 10/6/2017 5:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Since becoming sick and having depression I’m secretly unhappy at my friends’ success. Literally everyone I know is successful except for me. It makes me suicidal and feel like there’s no point in me being here if I don’t add to anything in this world. I can’t take care of my daughter right now and my husband and I are always arguing about my illness. I just wish I didn’t wake up one day.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41902
   Posted 10/6/2017 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lvg123,

I see you post in Lyme's forum, so I am inclined to think you have Lyme's disease. I didn't read your posts, but was curious because I didn't remember you posting here before. I am sorry for this, as it is really effecting you along with the depression. Especially if it makes you feel suicidal. Though we can't get into that here on the forum. I will post some sites and numbers for you to call if need be in the future.

I guess I am not the type of person to not want others to succeed. Though I am not above feeling sorry for myself because of the fibromyalgia which makes me tired and in pain. I can no longer do things I use to, but I have learned to enjoy doing different things. Although I didn't (like you do) have a child to take care of. That must be so hard.

Have you given your husband any literature or knowledge about your condition? It might make it easier for him to understand. I am lucky, my husband cuts me a lot of slack and seems very understanding. I couldn't imagine life if he didn't.

What are your symptoms? Or your limitations?

Try not to compare yourself to other people. It wouldn't be easy for them if they had the condition you have. They wouldn't be as successful as you see them now. Though I know you wouldn't even wish your condition on them. And we never know what other people are going through.

I hope you feel better soon. How long have you been sick?

Hugs, Karen...


National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
[urlhttp://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Suicide Crisis Center
www.teenhelp.com/teen-suicide/teen-suicide-help.htm
http://www.selfinjury.com/index.html
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20035
   Posted 10/6/2017 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
everyone has something to offer. i been where ya at, and some. i feel talking with a psychiatrist will benefit you. help lines are awesome. i have used them when in crisis. karen has given you excellent info and care. sadly most of us on this forum have other medical stuff going on. sure it gets us down, but we push each other back up. alike karen, i am not you, we are all unique individuals, however if people can learn they tend to understand better. keep posting as we care.

kellyinCali
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 292
   Posted 10/6/2017 11:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry that you are going through such a challenging and depressing time. Whatever you do, don't go on FARCE-book and try your best to eliminate "comparing yourself to others." It does absolutely nothing for you and you are normal to not want to feel that way. I don't wish my friends to be unsuccessful but in the spirit of "self preservation" I do not subject myself to being somebody's audience. If we are close enough, they will share the good news with me in person and I will likely feel better for having heard from them.

Post Edited (kellyinCali) : 10/7/2017 1:50:27 AM (GMT-6)


pitmom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2015
Total Posts : 2177
   Posted 10/7/2017 4:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Lvg123, thank you so much for this honest question! I totally identify!

I also think it's not so much that we don't want others to succeed, rather we are p.o.'d that WE 'can't'. It is somehow easier to funnel that pain and frustration outwards toward others.

I remember sitting in 'group'. It wasn't the group I should have been in, but they put me in it, just to get me scheduled for something 'therapeutic'. This group was 'low functioning' and had more serious illness issues than I. I remember thinking...I am soooo glad I'm not 'that' bad!

I have a neighbor who seems to be 'getting' everything I want. I mentioned I wanted a flagpole, she went out and bought a flagpole. I mentioned I'd like a dual cab truck, she went out and bought one! It is challenging. I'm so focused on ME that I was missing the very real possibility that SHE has a mental illness too!

So, the 'envy' is there for sure. The question is, how can we keep it from 'killing' us? First, don't compare your insides with someone else's outsides. Redefine 'success'. For me, getting out of bed is a success. Washing the dishes is a success. Etc. Stop using society's measuring stick. We are not 'normal' or 'average'. The truth is...we are above average...we are functioning WITH daunting limitations!

Hugs to you from someone with similar struggles.
multiple surgeries for rotator cuff both shoulders with residual chronic impingement syndrome, ulnar nerve transposition, carpal tunnel release, multiple wrist surgeries, multiple herniated discs, tarlov cysts, whiplash, bursitis of hips, grade 5 right shoulder separation and torn labrum, ovarian cysts, fibroid tumors of the uterus

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 884
   Posted 10/7/2017 6:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Pitmom: I couldn't have explained or said that any better myself! Cass

Marqi
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 49
   Posted 10/7/2017 9:25 AM (GMT -7)   
I do feel the same as you at times lvg123. I've deactivate my fb for now. I really think it is my state of mind that is causing these feelings.
I feel bad for not being able to be happy for my family and friends.
I'm trying to isolate in order to not spread my negative feelings around.

Lots of good replies here. This forum is great..
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