I just don't konw what to do and thought I might get some ideas from posting on here.
I'm 20 (almost 21) and a freshman in college. My mom became sick with depression when I was around 14 or 15. Since then it's been a huge rollar coaster of issues. Shes been in and out of hospitals and group homes. At first I would visit her in the hospital and the homes..but now I won't. My dad makes me feel like I'm being incredibly selfish by doing this and that I'm helping make my mom worse.
I also suffer with major depression. I'm struggeling with self-injury right now and was nearly hospitalized right before Christmas. I'm also stressing with school and the number of times I've done poorly in my classes. I should be a junior status after this semester. I'll be lucky if I'm a sophomore the way it looks.
The problem: My mom currently is in the hospital. She was admitted a couple days after Christmas and has been there since. I refuse to see her. I'm only about 15 mins away from the hospital shes in. I also refuse to talk to her or have anythign to do with her right now. I say I have to figure out myself first and worry about her second. If I was in school hours away, would my dad still expect me to drop evreythign to go see her? I just don't know. It adds stress to see her.....and it adds stress to not see her. Any suggestions???? I'm going nuts with what to do and how to handle all of this.