Anxiety getting in the way....

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Myself 09
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Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6226
   Posted 12/4/2017 7:30 PM (GMT -6)   
I have to admit that my anxiety is getting in the way of getting things done. I also have to admit that if I want to get through the next week, I gotta put on my big-girl panties.

Making plans for Mom's memorial. I HATE the telephone, so have not made necessary phone calls in a timely manner. Dealing with (and cleaning up) the fallout for that now. It's odd, the "things" I need to do for the service itself--powerpoint, remembrance, reading, flowers--these do not bother me in the least. Those are well within my ability. I do not get nervous in front of people. It is the **grumble grumble expletive** phone calls that angst me out.

Mom wrote a letter to be written at her service. We have no idea when she did this--it was at least a decade ago, and likely more than two of them. It was thanking people for loving her, and telling them she loved them--and that she has moved on to heaven.

So tired. Breathing deep.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 12/4/2017 9:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Keep up the meditation and mindfulness. You got a lot on your plate right now. Have you thought about seeing somebody and getting some anti anxiety medication? Or is that possible? Just thinking you could use a little help during this time.

I hate phone calls too. I don't know why. It is one of the hardest things for me to do, talk on the phone. So I totally understand what you mean. Procrastination. I don't talk well in front of people though. I doubt I could even do what you are doing now. All the organizing, seeing all those people. I am thinking you are doing a lot. A lot more than some could. Try to go easy on yourself. I make phone calls best in the morning before I have too much time to think about it. Maybe that would help you too. The longer I put it off, the harder it gets.

Awesome about your mom's letter. Awesome you found it. That is something I have never thought about. Kind of cool. Especially if we can look down and see it and hear it read. That alone makes me teary.

I wish you strength in the phone calls. You are doing wonderful with this, I hope you know that.

Take care Myself.

Hugs, Karen...

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Myself 09
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6226
   Posted 12/5/2017 1:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen. I am writing out notes to call the church secretary to check some things. My gosh, this is normal. Just average basic information. Picture for program, Christmas decorations, verifying time of service.

It is interesting that I found a carbon copy (remember those older folks?) of a letter my Dad sent to someone that laid out directions for calling, to let the phone ring three times and then hang up and call back immediately. I am unhappy I inherited this weirdness.

Be well, friends.
Ulcerative Colitis 2003, Fibromyalgia DX 2005, Crohn's 2013, Enteropathic arthritis, 2013. Family History of Fibro--2 out of 3 siblings diagnosed. Started SCD-June 2013. *There are three kinds of people in the world: ones who see the glass as half-full, ones who see the glass as half-empty, and others who see a big crack in the side which is leaking all over their %$#@# foot

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 12/5/2017 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
am proud of ya. my mum read out her sis letter,
she had her sis son and daughter by her side,
for strength and harmony. and because she was using
a walker. mum did real well. never seen me mum do
something like this. have two pillars next to you, each side.
keep strong. it was a big service too. you got this.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7436
   Posted 12/7/2017 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Myself, Have you considered going to the see the Church secretary?

That way you know she has your list and you can talk face to face and be sure things will be done and if there is a cliche it can be handle then possibly.

I Agree, mindfulness will help with the anxiety, also lots of self love and self compassion. You deserve it!

Peace and strength
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2017
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/13/2017 11:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Love

In today's society It's very easy to hide behind emails and text messages which is a real problem. I hear a lot of people say that they hate the telephone, which I always think is an avoidance excuse which has nothing to do with the telephone but everything to do with the person who 'hates' the phone. I would challenge yourself and try to figure out what it is that you are avoiding and own it. We are ultimately in control of what we think and how we feel and much of what we feel is about us, but it's easier to blame other people, we do it all of the time smile Perhaps you can practice making some calls and pay close attention to what you think and feel and try to change that, or don't think about it and just throw yourself into it, it's probably the avoidance that's creating the anxiety if you just do it and get it out of the way you won't feel anxious smile after all it's just a phone call smile

Myself 09
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 6226
   Posted 12/13/2017 12:40 PM (GMT -6)   
My anxiety has lessened now after the service has happened. It went well and people spoke lovingly of my Mom. I saw people I have not seen since high school.

Anxiety is a very real feeling--and it causes real symptoms. That is important to remember. The wide and varied reasons for anxiety are pretty idiosyncratic, but what it causes is actual aversion, fear, stress, and more.

My thanks, friends, for all your kind thoughts.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2016
Total Posts : 418
   Posted 12/15/2017 3:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry about mom I think you ve handled everything well u r very strong indeed...
Sending you hugs and kisses


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 12/15/2017 5:42 PM (GMT -6)   
You have done a remarkable job Myself. You should be proud of yourself. I am proud of you. You are a fabulous person, and you know what is what.

I hope you are having a good holiday season...

Hugs, Karen...

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/16/2017 11:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Myself. I am glad that your anxiety is lessening now. I'm not the best at responding, but I have been sending many positive vibes your way. I am sure that your mother would have been very proud of you. It sounds like you planned a wonderful service for her, yourself and family/friends. While you will continue to obviously miss your mom, hopefully, the anxiety will continue to lessen for you. Sending ((((hugs)))) your way! Cass
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