This is my first post here. I stumbled across this site after googling info on a medication.
This past summer, my husband, my 2 Children & I were looking for a home to buy. My husbands
Mother has heart disease and has been on hospice (end stage) for a year. We noticed a sudden decline after visiting her and knew she needed 24 hr care. We asked her if she wanted to move to our area. This past September she moved here and bought us (paid cash)a brand new home for the 5 of us. She has Nurses and home health aides come in the home three times a week to do her showers and fill her medications. The only time the 4 of us can leave the home together is when we arrange hospice volunteers to stay with his mom. We often miss family funtions and none of my husbands family offer help or come stay and offer us a weekend away from this.
She walks, but is very unsteady. She is the most needy person. She calls out for me for attention every 10-20 minutes during her waking hours. I wake up at 7 am with the kids, take care of mother-in-law's needs(mostly mental, running back and forth to her room for 7 hrs and I go to work at 2pm, as my husband is just getting home. We've arranged our hours this way so there is one of us in the home with her at all times. I have just had my hours cut because I have been calling in too often because I have been averaging 4-5 hrs of sleep per night. My Younger Child's grades are dropping because of this situation and I am at work on some evenings. Both Children are involved with sports, dance and religious activity. They both love the new home & are worried that they may have to move again because of the situation. My husband is on the verge of loosing his job. He has been so stressed, he fainted. His doctor has given him an anti-depressant.
Our home is almost 3,000 sq ft, with 2 living rooms on seperate floors, so we do get away and spend time as a family ( IN the home) as much as we can on our days off. My mother-in-law is on 100mg of Zoloft 2x a day and Zyprexa(anti-psycotic). The Zyprexa was just started since she moved here. They have determined she is mentally ill. She goes to the hospital every 60 days for a 5 day stay to give us respite. The hospital staff had to be doubled for her needs, because she contantly calls out for attention. (she actually called the kitchen staff to complain that there was not enough celery in her tuna sandwich.) In the beginning of this decision to care for her, I agreed I would stay home & not work when her condition worsened. Since our move she has weakened due to a stoke she had in November. And just living in the same home with her and dealing with her illness, caring for the Children & caring for the home, and WORKING is frankly depressing and wearing the hell out of me. My husband doesn't want to put her into a nursing home because she is on hospice and doesn't have much time left and not to mention she just bought him a beautiful home.
She was just put in the hospital for her respite care relief for the 5 days. Before she left, I arranged for the hospice social worker to come to our home. After talking to the social worker, her & I decided to confront my mother-in-law and tell her it was time I quit my job so I could be here for my daughter and manage everything else and take over some of the things my husband has been doing to ease his stress as well. We can't afford him loosing his job!! Mother-in-law would then have to pay a certain amount a month to cover my wage loss. (She would be paying 6,000 a month for room & board in a nursing home, as hospice will not cover it.) Well let just say my Mother-in-law went to the hospital for her respite care in a fit of rage and denial, telling her dr.s & nurses on the hospice team, that I do nothing for her and that I 'just don't want to work' She tried to convince the staff that she could stay alone during the day, while I go to work dayshift. The Dr.s tried getting through to her about the fact that she can't be alone. For five days she belittled me to my husband over the phone from the hosp.
She is determined that I work and is in complete denial about her situation now....errrrr
I NEED SOME ADVICE.
PS- No- I don't have the means to just leave and move out at this point, or I would have.