Luckily, I was able to obtain a free membership at the gym for my husband..I will take him most days (he can't drive right now) even if it means I do not get to go myself, because he seems so much better after working out for two hours. The problem is, if he drinks, then he will go two or three days without exercise at all. We do have two little children. Two WONDERFUL children:) I can't go to therapy now, as my husband lost his job and we do not have health insurance. This is the excuse he uses for not going to therapy as well. Like you, I think I will write a letter to his therapist asking to please contact my husband and see if he can work out a payment deal, but other than that, i will stay out of it.
I did leave once, but it didn't work. Come to find out, one of my husbands conditions makes it so that he can not realize there are any consequences to his actions..so he was mentally unable to understand that my leaving was his fault. Now I would never leave again. People don't understand, but as I like to say..I wouldn't leave if he had been diagnosed with cancer and was refusing chemo, why should mental illness be any different?
I think at my young age, I am hanging in there ok..I learned the second year of all of this..(we are going on year 3 now, but have been together for 14 years)..I learned the 2nd year this started to begin taking better care of myself..still have a ways to go on that front though. My biggest problem is realizing when he is yucky, hateful and bitter towards me, that it really has nothing to do with me no matter what he says. Still takes a huge emotional toll though.
Talk to you very soon!