My Dad thought like that, also. He caught a lot of abuse from my Mom, who had it rough, but he stayed with the family and kept his job and paid the bills.
He didn't get a lot of credit for that and I have some guilt that I didn't give him more credit for paying the bills and what not. I did from time to time show appreciation for what he was doing and had done, and I'm very proud that I did that.
I did that with my child. I wasn't going to be the one who left him. And I wasn't going to be the one who left my own 1/2 house because my wife had messed up. I mean, she pushed me around before that, but I wasn't stupid enough to fall for that, that I had to leave because she got caught.
And I'm proud that I responded, "Why don't you leave for a week, and I'll leave for a week?" which I had just heard on TV a few months before, so the child can stay at the same house. She said, "No."
Also, I wasn't going to leave for a week even if she said OK. I was going to let her leave for a week, then I wasn't going to leave for my week. I couldn't afford to leave anyway, because I had a hard time with jobs, with my emotional problems.
Does your wife have any emotional problems other than that marital situation? Mine had a bunch, just like I did, so I can't point fingers.
Also, try to be positive that you can get through this. For one thing, your child is watching to see how you solve problems. I wasn't positive during my efforts at all of that, because I wasn't raised that way and because of my emotional problems.
One thing I try to tell myself now is, one problem at a time, and be positive about
that problem. For instance, it's a positive thing that you didn't leave, and that she didn't leave. The child needs two parents in the home, and you have that. Your wife has a good job.
Also, another good thing is, that you are all staying together. I've heard that when parents separate, the finances for all, including the child, is lessened. That 2, in this case 3, can live as cheaply as one. In that, one rent/mortgage bill is cheaper than two, one both electric and cable TV bill is cheaper than 2.
There is a lot going for you right now. Think of that.
Post Edited (Tim Tam) : 4/10/2018 12:46:23 PM (GMT-6)