I think you're smart to hold off on dating for a little while, and strengthening yourself. You can find a soulmate but it's his loss he has to wait a little bit longer for you to be ready. Be patient. Be ready.
It will take a bit of time to get over X, and during that time focus on yourself. Treat and spoil yourself a little bit to improve your mood. What do you enjoy?: a fancy desert, fancy tea/coffee at a local cafe, a good book etc. then get a few over the next few days. Double-down on your gardening, more time with the ducks, ask your close friend for more time to talk/hangout etc. Delve into a videogame and focus on it really intently for a few days.
If X cutting you off suddenly hit you this hard, then that experience would be repeated multiple times with strangers on dating apps. Common to have interactions (date(s)/texts/etc) with someone while dating and then they go silent/off of the radar. Everyone gets a few chinks in their armor when dating and therefore you need to have extra emotional stamina that it won't be insurmountable. You have admitted you have tendencies to obsess over the why's and wanting a more formal goodbye, and in dating that is often also not possible (people are fickle, selfish think only of themselves and not how their words/actions/in-actions hurt others, and cruel as a consequence thereof). Being able to move on, will help you be successful.
You can be successful in dating. Those who date more nonchalantly (a chance to be social and get out, with a chance of meeting someone interesting) generally do much, better than those who are fixated on a signular goal of finding the perfect future mr/mrs (and beat themselves up at each failure).
Moderator Ulcerative Colitis
John, 40, UC Proctosigmoiditis
Rx: Remicade @5mgs/kg/6wks; daily 75mgs 6MP, 4.8g generic-Lialda, and rowasaThere are two certainties in life: paying taxes and prednisone side effects...
Post Edited (iPoop) : 5/17/2018 8:24:45 AM (GMT-6)