Is going back to stay with friends and family for a few months a possible option? From an earlier post you made, it seems like you are massively struggling with feelings of homesickness, which is understandable - most people don't move far away from their friends and family for that reason.
On a purely physical level, try to take care of yourself by eating regular meals and getting enough sleep (even if you have to use prescript
ion meds for the latter). It won't solve your depression, or your homesickness, or indeed anything else. But sleep deprivation has a fairly profound effect on our ability to think clearly and makes us more susceptible to negative effects. By the same token, try to get out at least once a day just to get a bit of fresh air into your lungs - it does help. Only briefly, but briefly is better than not at all.
Might be time for an appointment with a psychiatrist as well. And a therapist. If you can see regular docs, hopefully you can also see psychiatrists and therapists.
Right, advice over, I'm honestly not sure what else to say, other than I feel deeply for you. I do understand what it's like to be stuck in chronic depression with no apparent way out. It's not always possible to push your way through it by sheer force of will - in fact, I suspect anyone who can do that only had mild or transient depression to begin with. Perhaps just try accepting living with the depression for now and seeing if any ideas, or hope, comes to you from giving up the fruitless struggle? I honestly don't know.
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay )
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, diets.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current status: Chronic flare. Do I have any other kind?
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Entyvio (started 3/11/16)