The loneliness is hideous

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NiceCupOfTea
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 10555
   Posted 7/7/2018 1:30 PM (GMT -6)   
A bit of context: it's Saturday, we're having a prolonged heatwave, and England won in the quarter finals of the World Cup today. However, I haven't spoken to a single soul all day. I went out for a bit and regretted it: there wasn't a single person on their own - apart from me. Everyone - and I literally mean everyone - was with other people.

I can't bear it. I don't know a single soul in this wretched town. Don't know anyone to talk to. I feel like a ghost.

This is what nobody tells you when you are young. The absolute impossibility of making new friends after the age of 35 or so.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42501
   Posted 7/7/2018 2:40 PM (GMT -6)   
It isn't impossible to make friends after the age of 35. You need to put yourself out there. Know that it doesn't always work out the way you expect it to. But it can be worth it. Don't give up. Keep trying.

I hope your heat wave has lifted. Ours did but it is coming back tomorrow and the next day.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

poliq
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2018
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/8/2018 6:28 AM (GMT -6)   
There is no age limit of making friends. But before declaring someone as your best friend you have to clear first stage i.e. finding only a normal friend in them. you can find friend online. Now a days finding friend online is not so tough.

There are many social networking sites which makes finding friend easy. You can use

Facebook,

Instagram,

Twitter,

Cuddll

With my personal experience I found some of my friend through social networking site. Few months back while using some social networking sites I got to know about cuddll.

When I used the app, I saw that this app is so useful to make friends in a easy way and also that there were many people like you who wants to make friends. This made me more comfortable to find friend.

Along with passing time I got some friends. It was quite nice experience with cuddll. So, with my personal experience, I will suggest you to try cuddll.

I hope this thing will work for you.
all is well

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7439
   Posted 7/8/2018 1:52 PM (GMT -6)   
NCOT

I am 57, for the past two years I have been building a friendship slowing with a women from support group.
We were both facilities. Then I stepped down. Then she stepped down and stopped coming. Be we talked on messenger every couple months.

Finally we met for coffee. Just yesterday we got together for the first time and spect the afternoon together.
and because of the way our schedules work. it will be 2 more months be we can squeeze in coffee.

When people have dx's like we do, it is hard to pop up and say hey to a stranger, we and protective of our selves and there is no trust. So it takes time.

I suggest the following which has helped me.

2 times a week, treat your self to a sit down a small coffee/tea shop get something new to try with you diet restrictions of course, I have that issue also. Take a journal , make notes of what pops in your head about people coming and going. stay at least 30min

Check out the posted bits and looked for a Poetry Roundtable or reading, discussion, whatever. They are usually small and intimate, single people usually show up, various ages and you do not have to participate unless you want.

check out 'rupi kaur' poetry, I think might connect with a lot it. might even want to print one out and be brave enough to read a short one.


THEN there are book clubs, unusually free at libraries. Books stores what you to by the book from them gets expensive. Nice way to might different people women and men

Then there 'meet up'. I believe most major cities world wide are doing them. All kind of actives. Museums, hiking, movies, biking, tai chi, yoga, walking, art, writing, and Lord knows what else. I have sure if you took the time you would find something, maybe even and aquarian club, people who have fish. I do not lie.

just look into one of these, your deserve people in your life and the only way to connect is to get out there and get busy!

Peace
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 7/8/2018 8:03 PM (GMT -6)   
the library. I am here. the manager I have connected with in regards to service provision for people with disabilities, and a chap a bit older than me, enjoys my music, and has seen the very bands that I have not and may not!!!

notsosicklygirl
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16449
   Posted 7/8/2018 9:04 PM (GMT -6)   
On the positive, you have friends here smile

You do remind me of myself though. To be honest, loneliness, or just doing stuff alone, is easier when you're out and about more often. When you're an agoraphobe, like myself, working at home, and avoiding contact with people, going out on your own only gets more difficult. When I was out on a daily basis, working and spending time out in the world, seeing other people on their own, I felt better about everything. In the workforce, people are all out by themselves all the time.

I agree with the others, maybe online meetup groups? Or go out during the week when people are working and lunching alone... that might make you see that it's normal. Why don't you start dog walking or house sitting? That would make you some money, and you can meet some folks, and get out on your own with a task that forces you to be a little social. Out with dog feels a lot less lonely.

I was thinking about you while you were gone. Happy to see you back. I wish you weren't feeling down.
Moderator: UC
Currently: no meds 6/15 Step 1 J-pouch Surgery Complete 9/15 Step 2 Complete 11/15 Step 3 Complete
From Sickly to UC Free

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish

Bull101
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2015
Total Posts : 546
   Posted 7/9/2018 7:11 AM (GMT -6)   
NCOT from reading a lot of your posts the suggestion I'd have for you is that if you meet people, be more open minded. You seem very quick to judge people and find the fault in them and how you don't like them rather than how they could be fun to be around.

If you want to have friends, you need to start not being so annoyed by everyone that you do meet....No one will be perfect and exactly like you. Hopefully this will at least help you start making some new friends. The beauty about friends too is that you'll start getting to know more people through those people.

cilly
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2014
Total Posts : 1505
   Posted 7/11/2018 12:24 AM (GMT -6)   
That"s the reason I am trying to get a job at local library.

Living with yourself has its ups and downs.

Even working partime will solve my social interactions problems.

I am social and cannot imagine being without a partner .

Also you can try to live with roomate-it can split bills and cheer you up if person is friendly.
Cilly
Its better to be ALONE than in BAD company!!

NiceCupOfTea
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 10555
   Posted 7/11/2018 6:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi folks. Thanks for your replies! I kind of disappeared for a few days, but I'm back now... >.>

England lost in the semi-finals tonight. Oh well sad

@Poliq - I hadn't heard of Cuddll before. It does look interesting - I will download it and see what it comes up with for my area. As for the others, Twitter is the only one I use. I like it, but I wouldn't say I've met anyone through it.

@Trina - I do the coffee shop thing already >_>. I have to get out at least once a day, otherwise I just feel cooped up and restless. If I'm not going to my gardening place, I usually go over to my local supermarket, where I can get a free cup of coffee or tea. Used to be able to get it inside the cafe, but sadly they changed that fairly recently and you can only get it as a takeaway now. But I still go there most days and get my free coffee (the tea is rubbish, so I usually stick to coffee).

I've heard of book clubs and meetup.com. I ought to try a meetup group, but it's plucking up the courage to go to one. It sounds easy but for me it isn't. Depression and social anxiety make it almost impossible for me to talk to people. I know I can't solve the loneliness unless I find a way of becoming more extroverted, but I need to feel better before I can talk to people - it's a vicious circle.

@HT - Yeah, the library is a possibility I suppose. Could see if there are any volunteer positions going. I've actually got fond memories of the library from when I was a child, but thanks to budget cuts, most libraries are only open part time nowadays - they are not what they used to be.

@nssg - Cheers :p

I think in small towns it's different: even during the week day you don't see people on their own a lot. I sometimes miss the city: used to live in the suburbs of north west London, so I'd go up to central London on a regular basis. I'm actually not that far from London - only an hour away by train - but the train fare is ridiculous :/ What I might do is start looking into things to do in Oxford, somewhere I can get to for a lot less.

I dunno how you get into house-sitting or dog-walking, but both are things I would deffo consider.

@Bull - Huh?

@cilly - Yeah, I reckon library work would be a fairly nice job. Good luck with that.

If I had a 2-bedroom flat I'd consider the room mate idea, but with only one bedroom it's not really a possibility. I do wish I had somebody to live with - somebody close, like a partner or good friend. My flat is nice, but literally no one ever comes here. Even my parents don't visit anymore (although that said, I'm not desperate for them to start visiting again. It just wasn't fun. Whenever my dad is outside of his own home, he gets miserable and antsy and wants to leave ASAP).

Anyway thanks everyone. I'm gonna go to a coffee morning at my GP practice tomorrow: I won't even be tempted to sleep in because I've got a blood test at 9am ;p
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay skull)
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, diets.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current status: Chronic flare. Do I have any other kind?
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Entyvio (started 3/11/16)

Anders_EFT
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2018
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/12/2018 8:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi NiceCupOfTea,

I've been reading your post on depression, and I thought I’d reach out to you. I know how frustrating a depression can be
I've dealt with it myself, however, I found that EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) has been extremely effective for my depression. It really worked and I was able to overcome my traumas. But it required some training to make it effective.

Anyway, I’m working on a quicker and more easy way to overcome depression with EFT and other tools, that doesn’t require any training. It’s exactly meant for people like you, NiceCupOfTea, so I’d love to do a short 30 min interview with you to learn more about your issue, to learn how to make it most effective and easy to use.

** Hi admin, please don't treat this as a spam, I'm really after helping out people.

I'm just looking to learn (and I promise it won't take more than 30 min!). So if you're up for a short fun chat; I promise not to be boring I'd love if you could fill out the Google form:

(URL removed)

or leave me a note here on the forum, whichever works smile

If you join me for an interview you'll have the opportunity to be one of the first to try it also.

Can’t wait to learn about you, Anders

(I'm not sure why you are trying to collect forum member's information via an online form (names and email addresses) but this goes against forum rules. I'm not sure if you are trying to sell a product or service, maybe, maybe not, and due to this ambiguity this is not allowed. if you want to help others, then please do so on the open forum! Thanks! )

Post Edited By Moderator (iPoop) : 7/12/2018 8:35:23 AM (GMT-6)


BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7439
   Posted 7/12/2018 10:26 PM (GMT -6)   
IPOOP
Thank you for deleting the link.

EFT is also referred to as Tapping. If a person is diagnosed with depression, it should not be attempted with out a licensed therapist trained and certified present with the client.

There are books out on it, and on uTube people train themselves and try to take care of others, the adrenaline makes them feel better for a week or so, they go off their meds, and we know the rest of that story.

So, for ANYONE interested in this. PLEASE, as your doctor or therapist FIRST.

Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

NiceCupOfTea
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 10555
   Posted 7/13/2018 7:42 AM (GMT -6)   
I googled Emotional Freedom Therapy and it seems like nonsense - just pure pseudoscience.

Feel hopeless and despairing again - not that the hopelessness ever really went away tbh. It never does. I'm so tired. I've lost too many people. I'm permanently scarred. Too withdrawn, can't connect, just an empty shell going through the motions of living. No positive emotions. Just fear, dread, anger and nightmares - I don't even get a respite in sleep.

I really don't ever see a way back from the last few years, in particular the last 12 months. Too much water under the bridge. Too scarred. Can't get over it, can't recover. Empty shell, like I said.

notsosicklygirl
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16449
   Posted 7/13/2018 12:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I think there is a way back. You will see. Things change and time is the ultimate healer. One day you will look back on now, hopefully from a happier place, and think "wow, i can't believe how much has changed". It's not all doom and gloom, though most of the time I think that way. You need to get out in the world and make some connections. You have a lot of good to give, and people are missing out on getting to know you.

I know it's hard... I think you keep falling back to your parents and other people from the past for companionship, and unfortunately it seems like those people already have a lot going on in their own lives, and only a little time to see people on the outside. My family has this issue since my parents divorced. My father refuses to go out and meet people (mostly because he's cheap and broke). He goes out a ton on his own, but when he's not out alone, he wants to go to visit family and friends, but all his friends and family are in relationships, so he ends up feeling lonely. The interesting thing about him though, is that he's very comfortable doing things alone, and he even prefers it because it's cheaper. It's a strange double-standard about men being out on their own vs women. For some reason we see it has perfectly acceptable for a man to be at a bar alone, but a woman, it's frowned upon. I guess all in all, who cares what people think. You have one life, do what will make you happy - without stepping on anyone's toes of course. You need to get out and find your own "family". The word family, meaning a network of a couple people you trust and enjoy the company of. Go to some events for causes, I am sure you will meet some people. I go to some LGBTQ events and the people are always very welcoming. I live in a gay neighborhood.. it's interesting here because a lot of people are from elsewhere or transient. Feels somewhat normal to have no one - or also to meet people at anytime, anywhere. Maybe you're in the wrong city. I think the bigger city was probably more in-line with your lifestyle. Why don't you think about a move? Or a trip somewhere?

As an aside, my mom, she's a lot older than you, she's mean, conniving, evil, and she met someone.
So there ya go. If she can do it, you can!!! She went on the internet and found him somehow. I bet there's some people out there perfectly matched to you for friendship or relationship.
Moderator: UC
Currently: no meds 6/15 Step 1 J-pouch Surgery Complete 9/15 Step 2 Complete 11/15 Step 3 Complete
From Sickly to UC Free

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish

iPoop
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 12783
   Posted 7/13/2018 3:27 PM (GMT -6)   
I'd recommend looking for meetups in your area and just look for a fun activity: a walk, hike, birdwatch, a photography group or something of the like. Just something to get you out of your flat for a while. If it's a bunch of people just having fun, doing something they all enjoy then it's always less intimidating to join and easy to converse with others (but even if you don't talk then at least you're still having fun anyways).

Man, I wish a few of us were locals to you, and could go along so you'd be less intimidated to go to a meetup. I know that pulling the switch an signing up is always a very, very tough thing for an introvert, and that's a strange thing to someone who's very much an extrovert to fully understand.

Post Edited (iPoop) : 7/13/2018 2:33:37 PM (GMT-6)


theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 7/13/2018 9:00 PM (GMT -6)   
ditto.......if funds weren't tight, I'd be on the plane for sure for a coffee.

NiceCupOfTea
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 10555
   Posted 7/14/2018 10:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks folks.

Finding my own "family" is perhaps the only thing that would help, but it's unachievable for somebody of my age and disposition. I haven't made a single friend through a group. And by friend I mean real, actual friend, that I hang out with.

Acquaintances that I only see in a group don't even begin to fill the hole in my life. I've shattered into a million pieces and I can't put myself back together. Even if I did meet somebody, how would I know it wasn't an utter fake, like the "friendship" I had with wotsit? That's the thing. I live in a nightmarish world where I'm estranged from the human race at large. I don't like most people, I don't trust most people and yet I crave a connection so badly it physically hurts.

I don't get on with groups, I don't like them. I'm always left out. Never fit in. The only reason my gardening place sort of works is because the staff spend a lot of time with me, otherwise I'd be the same alienated freak that I am everywhere else: unable to hold a conversation, making others as awkward to be in my company as I am in theirs.

I don't understand people. I dunno what makes them tick. I'm vulnerable to being used by them because I don't understand them. Spent too long with my emotionally abusive family and then wotsit absolutely used me - I feel totally used by that "man" and wish every day I had never met him. Got nothing but bad, bad, bad thoughts to occupy my free time.

I'm sorry to be so depressing, but I don't even trust my own bloody mum anymore. Yet she's all I got left. We do at least have my brother's death in common, but what help is that? I can't comfort her any more than she can comfort me. I feel completely dark inside.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 7/14/2018 9:13:07 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42501
   Posted 7/14/2018 11:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Do you have any animal shelters near you? If so, go and see if you can donate some time with the animals. Unlike people, they love unconditionally. No fakeness there.

I feel the same as you about most people. But unlike you, I try to get out there. I find myself clamming up sometimes, wondering why I am where I am. I keep people at arm's length.

When I go out shopping, I am pleasant to people, but sometimes I still avoid. I could care less if they talk to me most of the time. But I understand you longing for friendship. We just have to be more accepting to people's faults and what not. Nobody is perfect. You will find that they all have things that aggravate us. We just have to accept them for who they are. We all have faults.

I hope that you feel better soon. It isn't the end of the world by any means. One day at a time...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

NiceCupOfTea
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 10555
   Posted 7/14/2018 1:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Meant to be going somewhere next week to an animal therapy place. Just googled it and it seems to be a service aimed at young people. Dunno what that means for me now, but I'll still go along.

I've tried a few things. I tried the coffee morning at the GP surgery but didn't enjoy it. I tried a group on Friday afternoons - didn't enjoy that. Also tried an autism social group which meets up once a month - tried that one several times and still didn't get into it.

It's not about not accepting people's flaws. I couldn't care less what people are like. I just can't talk to 99% of them. My mind goes blank, I can't think of anything to say to them and they can't think of anything to say to me. Most people intuitively sense that I'm socially awkward and move away to another person as soon as they can. Story of my entire life. That's autism for you. It either makes you talk way too much or way too little, and I'm in the latter camp. I'm not refusing to talk out of stubbornness, my mind just goes blank. And the fatigue of depression makes it 100x worse.

Depression makes me exhausted. It takes me hours to muster up enough energy to brush my teeth, take a shower, even get a cup of tea.

Depression makes me dull, boring and unable to enjoy or care about anything. Hard to talk about stuff when you've got no interest in it.

Depression is the worst thing in existence and I bitterly resent every day it robs from my "life". I can't put on a brave face. I can't think positively. I am angry that I am forced to endure this existence. It is this anger which is giving me the energy to type up this post right now. Before that I was utterly listless and didn't do a thing until 6pm, when I finally managed to brush my teeth. Later on I'll try to to make myself take a shower and wash some clothes.

What a life.
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay skull)
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, diets.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current status: Chronic flare. Do I have any other kind?
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Entyvio (started 3/11/16)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42501
   Posted 7/14/2018 2:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I am the same way to an extent Miranda. I can't think of anything to say. I get that way on a phone too. I hate talking on the phone. There is always that silence and me not knowing what to say. People probably think I hate them but I don't. I do okay grocery shopping in talking briefly to people I don't know. I can type here and emails. But when it comes to phone or face to face, I have problems.

All I can say is one day at a time. No pressure on yourself and see what you are capable of. My (great) nephew on my husband's side is 7. He has high functioning autism. I met him about a week ago. He only likes and talks to smart adults. He loved talking to my husband and he talked to me too. That made me feel good. It was so nice to meet him and his brother and sister and mother and father for the first time. I enjoyed talking to him. And the others. I did okay that time. But I still am quiet.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

NiceCupOfTea
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 10555
   Posted 7/14/2018 5:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen.

I hate talking on the phone as well. I never phone anybody unless it's essential. In fact I'm really bad about answering my phone, checking my voicemail or getting back to people. If I have the option, I tell people to text or email me instead.

A few years ago I went to visit this woman that I had met in the hospital. She had a 10-year-old son with autism. I liked him and he seemed to like me - he was chatty and amazingly polite and sweet. Sadly I fell out of touch with her (it was mostly my fault and, yes, I regret not making a bigger effort now). Anyway I hope they're both doing okay.

I'm feeling calmer, at least. I get into these incredibly agitated states at times :-/
Dx Crohn's in June 2000. (Yay skull)
Tried: 5-ASAs, azathioprine, 6MP, Remicade, methotrexate, Humira, diets.
1st surgery 20/2/13 - subtotal colectomy with end ileostomy.
2nd surgery 10/7/15 - ileorectal anastomosis. Stoma reversed and ileum connected to the rectum.
Current status: Chronic flare. Do I have any other kind?
Current meds: 50mg 6MP; Entyvio (started 3/11/16)

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7439
   Posted 7/14/2018 7:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Miranda, I know how you feel.

Group was hideous for me in the being. But with no family and my husband working all the time I had to do something. So I stuck it out for six weeks as Psychology.com suggests.

I have to say it was easier, but I did have meetings where I left early, sat in the parking lot and left before going in. etc... It was worth the effort in the end.

I made some friends, but they are not "close", I don't think I will ever have close friends, my trust level just is not capable. However, I people that care and that is what counts, and I care about them.

Miranda, there are people on this site that care about you and worry when you don't post. [believe or not]
I know for a fact that is hard to take in, but the truth is some times hard to accept.

You seem a well educated, literate, well read individual. It is my impression, if you someone starts a conversation with you, say in the grocery store line, "isn't hot?" "did you see the price of milk". etc.
the thing I started to do last year was an exercise my therapist gave me.

It is an observation skill, validate what the person says, than asked them something about themselves.
You can do this even if they do not talk to you first.

Things you can ask, " excuse me, I like your purse, do you mind telling were you bought it?"

any complimentary thing about their clothes, or their child, or dog etc.....

It is hard in the beginning and I still can not do it every day. But when I do, it brightens my day. And sometimes I meet people, that know people I know.

The shell feeling is the worst, emptiness to infinity. Emptiness that can not be put into words.

I promise you, it can be reversed, it can be overcome, you can rise above it. You are a warrior!

I wish you peace comfort and strength

Karen: I am so glad you had a nice visit, sounds wonderful!


I still get so upset over get togethers. Wednesday I had lunch with a person from group, he took my place as a facilitator. We talked, but I think I talked too much.
I texted and said it was nice to get together for lunch and apologies for talking to much, said I would listen more next time. Have not received an answer yet.

so I don't know if he just doesn't answer texts or he was offended.

But I can do anything to fix it. Just one more screw up to put behind me.


Trina
Moderator - Depression

"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

notsosicklygirl
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16449
   Posted 7/17/2018 11:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Do you have wag or rover there? Those are both sites that you can sign up to animal sit. It's not necessarily dog walking, but some people go to homes with cats and visit with them, feed them while their family is on vacation. It could be any animal... If i didn't have a job, i'd definitely consider doing something like that for some income. It gets you out, you might get to see some other areas and meet some people smile

I also hate talking on the phone, but I am quite good at making conversation. I mostly I ask questions about how people are doing... What are they working on? Anything new in life? dating? how's the family? people from the past I usually ask about their parents or siblings I remember and care about... Seen any interesting shows or movies? Been to any fantastic restaurants? Have you tried this place or that place? Where did you get that whatever it is that is interesting?.... I am way too chatty, maybe your opposite in that way.
Moderator: UC
Currently: no meds 6/15 Step 1 J-pouch Surgery Complete 9/15 Step 2 Complete 11/15 Step 3 Complete
From Sickly to UC Free

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish

GreenBeans
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2016
Total Posts : 20
   Posted Yesterday 11:09 AM (GMT -6)   
You mention going to groups and not being comfortable or not feeling like you make a connection.

I once went to a program where their catchphrase was "Try 6 meetings before you decide if this is for you."

I find that very helpful! Very few people are comfortable with the first time doing something. However, I try to continue to go to -whatever- for 6 times in a row. Remember, not only do you have to get comfortable with them, but they have to get comfortable with you!

Try it, it can't hurt, right?
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