I'm very glad you posted here. You are not only among friends here but people who understand what you are talking about. We 'get it' because we too suffer from depression. It's critical that you get control of the depression and not suffer alone. Who in your life can you talk to? Mom? Another family member? School counselors are wonderful at helping but you need to tell someone and get to your family doctor soon. There are lots of medications that can help. It takes a while for the medications to begin to work - like 2-4 weeks is not uncommon - so be patient. Also, it may take some trial and error work to find a medication that works in you particular case.
Depression is an imbalance of many chemicals in the brain - it's NOT a weakness in you, it's a medical condition. It's no different than if you had diabetes you would get medical help for it. I put a link below that has some good information explaining depression and the bottom link is a helpline site if you need to talk to someone.
The reason I'm so concerned about you is a personal story I don't often share but I want you to know why you are so important to me. I raised 3 children - 2 sons and 1 daughter. My oldest son, the middle child, was always very close to me and even clingy especially when he was younger. But he was a happy and very bright child. He did well through school and seemed perfectly normal to me.
What I didn't know, and he hid very well, was he had depression. I found out years later that he had confided on his closest friend but no one shared it with me. When he was 23 my wonderful son took his own life and 18 years later I'm still in tears just writing this down. It was after his death that I found out that he had been suffering depression at least from age 11.
Michael24, I don't want anything like this to happen to you and your family! You are important to those who know and love you. There is a wonderful 'You' behind the depression and this will come out once the depression is under control. Please, please ask someone for help. If it's hard to speak to someone
then write a note and give it to that person. I've done things like that for many years and it works.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We're people just like you and we want to help
I do have a therapist however only because I have some anger issues. I don’t have a relationship with my parents really, and I don’t trust anyone at school to tell this to. The one person I did kinda started stopped responding to my texts and ignoring me so I just gave up on that. I’m not extremely depressed but it just lingers with me, knowing that I will never have a love or I feel like a group of friends who truly care about