You sound quite a bit like me, tired, unmotivated, down in the dumps, have UC to boot... I don't know why all these things come in a package together, but it surely seems like they do. I wish there was a simple answer for you, and me, but I think we need to find something that makes us feel fulfilled and even if we find that thing, what is it, and how long will it last? who knows.. I do however know, it doesn't come from other people, it has to come from yourself. We need interests, hobbies, a craft, a career. I took pristiq for a while, and it seemed to help quite a bit, but eventually, the cost was not something I wanted to accept forever. I also have UC and I didn't want to take additional drugs & to top it off, there were some side effects that I didn't love. There are other UC drugs you could try that are similar to asacol, and may be covered, check out apriso, lialda, or delzicol. Maybe you should make getting your home in order a priority. I always feel like when my home is a mess, I can't get organized and motivated. Maybe that will help you increase your activity level. Maybe a therapist could help? maybe antidepressant? maybe you need some friends? I don't think you should feel bad about
yourself because of the path your life has taken though, tons of people are just like you. It's weird how society tries to make people feel like their lives need to be a certain way to matter. The reality is, people like us are more normal than we are led to believe. Sometimes I really wish all of us could band together and start a movement, the movement of individuals over societal norms. I bet you there are just as many of us people sitting back wondering why we aren't what we are led to believe we should be, as there are people living that "perfect" life, which by the way, isn't that great either.
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From Sickly to UC Free
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish