Oops. Sorry iPoop, I missed your reply - it ended up on page 2 and I didn't see it when I posted.
Good question about
what I'd be doing right now if I wasn't depressed - I don't really know. In fact I don't have a clue.
I wish I could see a pathway to liking myself, if not loving myself - I think loving yourself is a bit OTT, but everyone ought to like themselves. Well unless they're despicable human beings of course. But I see myself in the worst possible light. Seems impossible to change now. As for HW, I don't think anyone on the Crohn's board even noticed I was gone - my advice is far from indispensible or irreplacable. As for depression, gosh I am so obviously useless at helping myself, I wouldn't even presume to try to give anyone else advice on dealing with it.
I think what's hindering recovery for me is fear - I am just bogged down by it. I don't have any courage either. I am petrified of what will happen after Brexit. The government seem to be doing their best to scupper any chances of a deal, and leaving without any agreement will collapse our supply chains, leading to food and medicine shortages. (That wasn't in the Leave manifesto in 2016.) Now if I was still healthy I'd still be pretty danged worried, but not terrified. For example, I have persistent uveitis which keeps constantly coming back - only steroid eye drops keep it at bay. I now am so worried about
not being to get the eye drops after Brexit, I'm trying to make plans to stockpile them. The threat of blindness is a source of terror for me and I can't really cope with it.
The only thing I can think of is to use my disability benefit to see an experienced therapist for a few months. I don't know if that would help or not, but it isn't something which I've been able to try before... The downside to that is it would trigger my money worries. But on the other hand, is there any point in saving a small windfall for a future I can't control?
Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 10/29/2018 11:47:07 AM (GMT-6)