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There is no legitimate reason for people to love or like me.

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Depression
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Orjuan
New Member
Joined : Nov 2018
Posts : 1
Posted 11/27/2018 7:07 PM (GMT -6)
Hello, I'm gonna keep this short: I'm an uninteresting loser who no one should love.

There is literally no justifiable reason for anyone to like me. I'm fat, stupid (or at least painfully mediocre), unfunny and lazy. I have nearly zero friends (only one who's relationship is completely falling with me as we speak) and I feel my family only ever speaks to me because they have to, as they're my family.

I have zero talents and hobbies. Actually zero. When I'm not doing something I need to do, like work, I just sit down and either browse the web looking at people infinitely better than me or just cry wishing I wasn't so useless.

I have ZERO redeeming qualities, everything is just neutral/mediocre or terrible. At this moment, I want to go to sleep and just not wake up. I'm not brave enough to actually kill myself, but I just wish my consciousness drifted away as I slept.

So, that's that, I guess. Attempt to make me feel better, if you want, but this is just sorta for me to vent out my uselessness.
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wearyRAsufferer
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2010
Posts : 2954
Posted 11/27/2018 8:02 PM (GMT -6)
I feel sad reading this
However I wonder what part do you have in this?
What is making this friendship fail? How do act around your family?
I don't think there is anyone with zero talents or that is totally useless.
You're in a funk
Wishing you peace and hope you find your way out of the funk
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NiceCupOfTea
Elite Member
Joined : Jan 2010
Posts : 11082
Posted 11/27/2018 8:27 PM (GMT -6)
No one is born hating themselves, so at some point you must have learnt to hate yourself. I had learnt it by age 5 - at a family gathering I apparently walked around solemnly telling members of my family that "everyone hated me". It was a phrase I had picked up from Charlie Brown, but I know my 5 year old self meant every word.

What did your family do to you (or didn't do) to make you hate yourself? What about school? Were you bullied?

You don't have to answer the questions here. I'm just trying to get you to think about where the self-loathing might have originated. Even if you do know, you'll still hate yourself. But perhaps you can at least begin to see it's not *all* located inside you, even though it feels like it is.

It sounds like you have very high standards which you can't meet. Welcome to my world. It sucks. I doubt you are willing or able to lower your expectations, but perhaps you could realise that a) you are not as useless at everything as you think you are and b) other people aren't as amazing as you think they are.

If you can access one, I'd recommend a therapist. I do know it's expensive and not everyone can afford one, but if you can I think it could help you a lot. An antidepressant might help with the rumination, but in my experience ADs only suppress thoughts, they don't actually change them. That's fine as long as the AD continues working, but if it doesn't then the negative thoughts will start to come back - as happened with me. However, perhaps even a temporary break will give you the impetus you need to be able to break out of your rut and try something new.

I would like to say more but it's late and I need to get to bed.
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TroubledTurds
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2004
Posts : 8705
Posted 11/27/2018 9:33 PM (GMT -6)
get a dog - they love a worthless dumbass like me for some reason - we all need some unconditional love - pets do that well -

good luck -
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Sometimes i am me (HT)...
Elite Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 22529
Posted 11/27/2018 10:21 PM (GMT -6)
I am fat...bald and a turtle. have unique talents. Hey...what a person looks like means zero to me. The fact you posted shows that you do care about yourself...even if unconsciously at first.

Keep posting. HT.🐢
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getting by
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 45180
Posted 11/28/2018 8:59 AM (GMT -6)
Orjuan,

Your post wasn't uninteresting. So you are seeing yourself that way whether you are or not. Whether you are lazy, I don't know, but it sounds like you enjoy being on the web or computer. Nothing wrong with that unless you aren't doing things you should be. You know the answer to that.

We are all capable of love and being loved. Quit selling yourself short.

I hope you start liking yourself. It is hard for somebody to love us if we don't love ourselves, but not impossible. I think you need confidence.

Keep posting, it helps.

Welcome to the forum...

Hugs, Karen...
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pitmom
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2015
Posts : 2830
Posted 11/28/2018 5:23 PM (GMT -6)
Hello. My daughter would have probably described herself the same as you did a few years ago. Turned out, there was a reason...a medical reason...for it all. Cushing's Disease. So, I must ask you...have you been to a doctor to discover if there is a medical reason for being overweight and considered lazy? I doubt there is 'nothing' that you are good at. It's likely you may have not found it yet, or perhaps the computer IS the thing you're good at. Lord knows, if it weren't for my grandsons knowledge of all things internet, I would not be here at all! P.S. we tend to love each other here...even in the depths of our down times...because we 'get it'.
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BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator
Joined : Apr 2012
Posts : 8806
Posted 12/2/2018 8:22 AM (GMT -6)
Welcome to the forum.

You are a person, that legitimacy enough to like you. I believe you posting here shows that you are social and would like validation that there IS goodness in you. Well yes, there is. You are not alone. We all feel like this at some point in our lives.

Have you talked to your doctor about how dark your thoughts are? Perhaps your should, you could have major depressive disorder.

May I such getting the book THE MINDFUL PATH TO SELF-COMPASSION. I believe your negative thoughts are coming from self hate.

Here is a link that may shed some light your emotions. You can start feeling better about yourself.

https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/

Orjuan, if you listen to this podcast, I would love to hear what you think. I look forward to response.

I wish you peace and strength
Trina
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cilly
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2014
Posts : 1616
Posted 12/7/2018 11:35 AM (GMT -6)
This thread tells me which read in some article in a magazine...we are so visually overwhelmed because of internet and tv ,we compare ourselves to others and beat the crap out of our self worth.

Its very true --thats the true reason I try to stay away from online .

AD can make a huge difference in mood ,it works for me at least .

Pets make very positive difference in life.

I love this thread.
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Chutz
Forum Moderator
Joined : Jan 2005
Posts : 9477
Posted 1/5/2019 12:36 AM (GMT -6)
Hi,
It's been a while since you've posted. We'd love to hear from you and see how you are doing. If you don't want to discuss anything just a note to say Hi' so we know you're OK. I do care about you and understand some of your feelings. We aren't here to judge each other but to lend a hand. Here, take my hand...<reaching out> and maybe I can help just a bit to show you that you are lovable.

Warm hugs,
Chutz
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paul_t
Regular Member
Joined : Sep 2018
Posts : 227
Posted 1/6/2019 10:15 PM (GMT -6)
Yes, please check in. I can identify somewhat with the OP, as well as with not wanting or having the strength to post anything. Sometimes it's nearly impossible to do much at all like this, but I think it helps greatly to reach out...
profile picture
Sometimes i am me (HT)...
Elite Member
Joined : Mar 2009
Posts : 22529
Posted 1/8/2019 12:40 AM (GMT -6)
Hope ya ok. HT
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