Some background...14 year son, diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Early last year was rough, hospitalized twice and admitted for a week. Started on anti-depressants and that seemed to make things ok for a little bit, but I think it was a placebo affect for the first couple weeks since I know it can take at least 4 to see the effects. Well, week 4 was a total blow up and he ran away twice and blamed me for all the problems he was facing including why he was depressed. He stopped going to his councilor because he wasn't even home for me to take him. Councilor said he could no longer see him since he missed 2 meetings and my son was passed what help he could offer.
Eventually came home and things were going ok. Had bad days where he didn't go to school, or went to school, but I had to get him. I know he is having issues with some kids at school and a couple of ex-girlfriends that are spreading rumors about
him. He's a very sensitive kid and unfortunately tends to dramatize things and overreact. I'm personally am the type of person who hates drama and I tend to underreact to things and brush them off, not just because I've grown up, but because that's how I've always been. So, it's hard to connect with him because I don't understand having that kind of sensitivity towards things that people say. He takes a lot of things to heart and he just ends up with having a defeated attitude towards things. He automatically resorts to he just wants to end things (life) every time something goes wrong in his day.
He has been seeing a licensed therapist that comes to his school to meet with him every Friday besides having meetings with just the normal school councilor. This past week, he seemed to be having a good week. He didn't come home in a bad mood or say that something went wrong. He and I have a pretty close relationship and he talks to me quite a bit about
things that bother him. The 2 times he went to the hospital, the child protective services councilor even noticed that we have a close relationship, more so than she's seen in most parents and children. There are of course times that he doesn't want to talk about
something that is bothering him, but eventually will talk about
it with me.
Today, he texted me while at school, "Can you think about
online school cause I just can't deal with going to school, I want to learn and get smarter but I can't with so many people antagonizing me at just preventing me from learning more." I asked him what was going on and what they were doing. His response: "just please think about
online school cause if I have to go here for like another month I might blow my brains out." I told him that no one is worth ending you life, especially those types of people. He just said, "OMG MOM just will you think of online school" I'm not sure exactly what to do here. While I think it's important to physically go to school for social reasons because I believe school sets a platform for how to deal with people in the 'real world'. Also, my son likes to be social. I don't know if it would be best to have him take online schooling because it could possibly make him feel more isolated since he isn't getting social interaction. Plus, both my husband and I work full time. I'm not sure it would be the best scenario to have my son at home without supervision.
When he ran away, it became increasingly difficult to be able to tell when he would actually have days where he so depressed to the point where he doesn't want to go to school or if he's using that as an excuse to not go. While he was a runaway, he constantly used his depression and anxiety as a manipulative tactic all because I wouldn't let him stay the night at his friend's house on a Tuesday during the school year. When I spoke with his councilor, he stated that boys tend to do that more, especially towards their mothers because they know it will hurt them the most in the hopes that the parent will cave and give the child what they want. He said that from what I was telling him, it sounded like that was what he was doing.
I just don't think online schooling is the best scenario for my son, which I know he will firmly disagree and more than likely be extremely upset with me if I tell him I don't think it's the best solution for dealing with the kids at school. I don't want him to get the idea that the best way to deal with things that go wrong in life is to run away instead of facing them or learning to cope with them. I'm stressed every day he's at school that I'm going to get a phone call, either from him or his school councilor. Every time I even get a text message from him, even if it's just asking if I can put money on his lunch account, my heart skips a beat and my stomach goes in knots when I hear his message tone.
I know being an adult, it's easy for me to say because I know the world is so much bigger than high school and that life actually begins after high school because that's how I learned. But you can say it till you're blue in the face to a teenager, and they won't hear you. If you're child is taking online classes, I'm interested in your input whether it's positive or negative.
Thank you for your time reading my ridiculously long post. =)
Post Edited (kilekine) : 1/14/2019 12:01:43 PM (GMT-7)