Problem with a very touchy subject

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 151
   Posted 1/30/2006 1:35 AM (GMT -6)   
I am still going thru alot of things.  I am still unemployed, but have been working a temp. job since mid Dec.  I really like it and would like to go perm.  The job I am doing right now however, is going away at some point but the longer I stay even if it is just temp. the better off I am.  It is just prolonging unemployment.  I am taking 2 classes at the comm. is computers which I need in order to get my 2 year degree in May and one just for interest, which (and I know you may think I am crazy!!!) is Intro to Russian Culture and will take Intro to Russian History in the fall.  However, at times I find it overwhelming, such as this past week.  My anxiety goes up and at times the depression gets worse.  There is one thing that is getting under my skin, and it is a very touchy subject.  I want to start off by saying, that I very firmly feel that each person is entitled to their beliefs, so please do not think I am trying to change anyones mind here.  That is not at all what is the problem.  I was raised a Republican but I look at each candidates positions and make my decisions from there most of the time.  Well, I have this friend who is so extremely Democrat that at every chance she can she totally slams Pres. Bush in front of me.  She sends jokes regarding Pres. Bush and says things about him that are not true and you can not say anything in your defense.  Just to tell you how bad it is, last fall before the elections she said to me out of the blue, that she was going to get me to vote for Kerry and I just flipped it off by saying I dont think so, and she lit in to me and was litteraly nearly crying.  She, as is anyone in my opinion can be for whoever she wants to be for.  Thats fine, it does not bother me.  What does bother me are all the jokes she sends via email and going on a tyrant at times around me.  My problem is, what do I do about it?  I avoid talking politics around her at all cost.  I just hope I have not offended anyone here.  And just to prove I am not some die hard, it looks at this point, I will be for the Democrat canidates here where I live next fall.  But for the time, what can I do to stop the jokes and slams.  For some reason it really bothers me.

obs ann
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 679
   Posted 1/30/2006 2:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Gosh, that sounds strange, you said, "I have this friend..."

How does this "friend" DEFINE "friendship" ?

If she knows it's a free country and you can vote your choice, why would she badger you, if she's your "friend" ?

If you want to keep her "friendship", then I'd tell her, "friendship" is based on "mutual respect" and "freedom to be oneself" and Thank God it is still a free Country, where we are not "badgered" to vote any certain way.

If she indeed is a Friend, she will see the nonsense of all of this and not want to risk losing your friendship over your Constitutional Freedoms.

Yeeeesh. Maybe, finding a good definition of "friend" off the Web somewhere might help her.

You don't need stress Chelsi ... your school work and job are sufficient enough.

Think of what you would define as a friend for the future. Makes life so much fun with a GOOD Friend.

God Bless ya and take good care of you.

Late Neuro-Lyme & CFIDS. 

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 293
   Posted 1/30/2006 6:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Chelsi. I could hardly believe it when I read your post. I am in the same boat! A friend is a Demo and I am usually Repub. Hoever, I usually vote for whom I think will do the best job and is at least a moral person (notice I said, whom I think). I vote Demo when I think that person is best. My friend is Demo down to her little toe and she and her mother (who is in her late 80s) have slammed Bush to no end. I usually just keep my mouth shut in order to not start an argument and go on. I even avoid sending her emails that have anything to do with politics or religion. She mostly does the same. She is a good person. She's a liberal. I'm conservative. I can't change her. She can't change me. So I just ignore. We have so much else in common (books, former jobs, etc.) and she is such a good person otherwise that I love her anyway. And her mom is a doll when we don't talk politics. (She's now in an assisted care facility and going down hill fast).

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 1/30/2006 7:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Don't people think that thay are so smart b/c they think they "know" politics?
I am in Paper's boat; so many people love to slam their President. Fact of the matter is that no Prez is perfect, they do the best they can.
Do the math; how many Presidents since Nixon has ever been a jerk to somebody?
Politics and religion is such a gray, touchy subject. My brother is extremely critical of our leaders and always has something to say, even if it comes uninvited. To me he is starving for attention by instigating conflict.
People are passionate about these subjects. The best advice is not to comment, or comment on their conviction ("hey, sounds like you're trying to start a fight!") rather than their opinion, but even that can be dangerous if you're not prepared to hint that they are too strong.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/1/2006 9:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chelsi,  You have received some very good advice thus far.   I also have a friend that is like this and we have to a mutual agreement to disagree on politics and religion.  I feel that this is what makes everyone different.  Your friend should not be pushing her beliefs on to you if she knows that it bothers you.  You should speak to her and let her know exactly how it makes you feel.  Good luck


Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 2/1/2006 10:52 AM (GMT -6)   
My father always told me that when you wrestle with a pig you both get dirty. I am not saying you friend is a pig, but I know that friends of mine who differ politically have a passion for their beliefs as do I. It took all of us to agree to set parameters on what was appropriate discussions and the level of emotion that can be brought into that discussion. While we still trade jabs, I take theirs and give back in kind. It has become more of a joke between us that we are of different political parties rather than a point of contention. Good luck and I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
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