Posted 2/3/2019 11:36 AM (GMT -7)
Forverfinding you are a light
Karen, no words, well one, connection.
I will humbly try to write what my art speaks.
Back then, I found what I knew was wrong all those years.
Faced the locked doors holding horrors, monsters, unspeakable things.
The moat and castle I built so strong and safe, now a prison full of fears.
Two clinicians strong and well, no need to change as others tell.
Repeated urges that cleansed my blood sends me to lock up.
Trauma, what is that the doctors say in their head, medicate, keep calm.
When her thoughts are better, did our job, see her mood, like a pup.
Four times my life would be no more, was not worthy of this world.
How could I be with all the truths, when all the lies were now exposed.
Everyone told me, “you have not changed, we think the same”
The face told another story, the loss of friends and job my blood it curled
Some called and said no more, did not have fortitude to face me.
The dirt I smelled, felt and saw, did not wash off, made me hurl.
Years went by, I worked so hard, support group said don’t live in the past.
No one could understand, I could not express, details to horrible
Continued to work, each and every day, finally saw victories at last.
My walls crumbled, briarers smaller, jungles clearer, storms milder.
Sun appeared in brief moments, path came to focus, I could walk
Grateful for my clinicians, followed suggestions, read everything compiled
Independent and happy, life once again an adventure!
I tell by their faces, ‘fake it till you make it’, not so!
I wish all could see application of self is the clencher.
Things I once loved are gone, this is true.
As with landslides, the road must be cleared
In order to see the view.
Moderator - Depression
"...when the gift of sight is cause enough for jubilation."
Billy Collins from the poem. HIGH
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain;Hemicrania Continua; Complex Migraines: raynauds;Complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder with psychotic features. Laryngopharyngeal Reflux Disease [LPR]